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Thursday, October 5, 2017

Your Dying Spouse 374 - Caregiving For Our Country {FMF/#write31days}

This is not a post I wanted to write. But I sort of had to, because I sort of still give a damn. (And it serves for both Five Minute Friday and #write31days.)

Well, it does look like the USA needs some caregiving. After Las Vegas and Charlottesville and an absolute torrent of online incivility, we're battered and bruised and bleeding.

There's a story here, and it's one no one wants to hear. (STORY is the FMF prompt.)

We have a big problem here, and it's not the alt-right or Antifa or guns or Black Lives Matter.

Las Vegas will be forgotten in a week, as The Voice blind auditions rumble on, and we plan our holiday parties. Fifty-eight people dead is really just a statistic unless you knew one of them. After all, we lose the same number every day on our roads, from DUI and texting-while-driving.

Who's mourning them?

Only their close circle...for the rest of us, it's better you than me, and hey...where's the remote?

Yeah, we have a problem. The problem lies in our collective soul, and it has a name.

Alienation.

We’ve become a society of angry online trolls who in large measure define ourselves and our worth by the depth of our vindictive rage.
It’s bee a long time coming. Robert Putnam pointed out in his masterful ‘Bowling Alone’ that disengagement from personal intercourse has been going on since the 50s, witnessed by a decline in the prominence of social organizations both religious and secular…including bowling leagues.

And this was before cell phones and more advanced personal electronic devices hit it big. Technology has only hastened fragmentation. We're a nation of niches, served and cossetted to fulfill our specific needs and impulses.

And in that, we no longer have to fit into a community. We can draw up a life plan that's just for us, and shared effort's become something quaint.
Lack of community begets alienation, which in turn begets a spiritual numbness, turning life into an existential echo-chamber.
And at the end, the only thing that can still reach a frozen heart is anger…for real causes, for the taken-on causes of others, or, as you put it, for its own dark sake, because it’s the only grudging warmth left in a universe gone nihilistically cold.

Our country's sick, all right, and it may be dying. How can we become the caregivers for a nation, to give it some hope of recovery? Is there anything that we, as individuals, can do?

Sure there is. Set an example. We need leaders, so get out there and lead. Set the example. Become the change, and reach for the miracle, because we sure need one.
  • Walk away from the online angries. You won't change their minds through engagement, but they can darken your heart. Walk away from engagement even if they're friends, or family.
  • Seek out inspiring and uplifting stuff to post. Default to the positive.
  • Don't fight other people's wars. Be supportive, but if it's not your fight, stay in the background.
  • Purge your vocabulary of current angry buzzwords. Resolve never to mention things like microaggression (if you can figure out what it is).
  • Get out on the porch. Turn off Netflix, pick up a CD player (no headphones allowed), make a pitcher of lemonade, and sit on the porch. Read or sketch or play a board game, or even solitaire (with REAL playing cards, no cell phones allowed). People in your neighbourhood will think you a loon, and then you'll notice them furtively doing the same thing. Before you know it there will be visiting back and forth, and then...a block party. (If you don't have a porch, improvise. Use your garage, door open. Or your driveway, with an umbrella stand and a couple of beach chairs. Just get out there.
  • Get involved in something that brings you into regular contact with other people...specifically at the expense of your online presence
  • Don't apologise for being white, or being Christian, or being well-off. All that does is feed the self-justification of those who want to feel sorry for themselves, or who want to blame who you are for what they are not.
What can you add?

The musical accompaniment is from Maureen McGovern, singing The Morning After. Bet you haven't heard this is awhile!


My #write31days posts so far are:

October 2 - Talk To A Caregiver
October 3 -  Create A Caregiver Haven

Write 31 Days prompts - 2017

I do ask that you be patient with my slow replies to your comments (which we treasure). I'm trying to stay caught up.

Still hoping to get the new and improved version of Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart up and running in the near future. Just haven't had the energy to do it yet...but if you would like to read it, please say so in your comment and I'd be glad to send you a PDF (which should fit your Kindle).



I have another blog, "Starting The Day With Grace". The focus is a grace quote from someone you might not expect (like, say Mick Jagger) and a short commentary. I hope you'll join me.



Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.

WE MADE A DIFFERENCE!

And marley has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.


If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.















48 comments:

  1. I would love to come drink some sun tea on the porch with Barbara and you and watch the sunset, Andrew.
    Great reminders!
    Love,
    Tammy

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    1. Tammy, you're always welcome,and I can make some really good sun tea!

      Love back, from both of us, and the dogs too.

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    2. I'm with you, @Tammy Belau. I'd love to sit out on the porch and drink some sun tea. This world needs more porch dwelling going on!

      My blog can be found here: A Wife's Reflections

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    3. You'll be welcome, Kimberly!

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  2. great post andrew! i have been so engaged with my local life, i haven't bee writing as much in the past 6 months, but i think that has been healthy. i'm writing a 31 day series now that is eating my lunch...it's on caretaking. don't know if i'll get a 5 minute friday post up or not. story won't exactly fit what i'm writing for tomorrow. we'll see. hope you are doing ok. you outdid yourself on this article!

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    1. Martha, whenever and whatever you write, it's ALWAYS worth reading. And I do agree that a 31 days thing can indeed eat one's lunch. For sure.

      Thanks so much for being here.

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  3. Such good observations, Andrew. I never thought about our country needing a caregiver. But isn't this what God called us to?To be light to a darkened, dying world? May we care for those around us, especi9aly those who rub us wrong, or who oppose us. May we shine Jesus' light into into the anger, and be the change-makers God can help us be.

    I'm praying for you and Barb, my friend.

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    1. Jeanne, I believe you are right...caregiving is exactly what God has called us to do. I love the way you put it, to be the change-makers God can help us be. That's perfect.

      We thank you so much for the prayers.

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  4. Wow! It's been a heavy week this week. My heart aches. But I've been so thankful for community whether in real life or online. It is a gift! I'm in the 7 spot this week friend!

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    1. Tara, it has indeed been quite a week, and it does hurt. Community is so vital!

      And I loved your post.

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  5. These are great points, Andrew. Real community is so important.

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  6. Such a practical list, Andrew ! Thanks for sharing and encouraging us all with what truly matters! Blessings and peace to you! Leigh

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  7. True words Andrew. Thank you especially for your last suggestion. Apologizing for the past again and again benefits no one.

    I do think there is a different perspective. It's not apathy, or alienation. It's overwhelmed. Sometimes I just can't. Yes, I know about what's going on, but I don't have to read the articles. With the internet and the nightly news we hear about everything the world over. There's so much ugly in the world (and as if it's not enough to tell about it, it has to be sensationalized and twisted. And then everyone that wasn't there has to put their 2 cents into the mix with the "right" opinion and answer that must be told). I'm just not strong enough to look at it.

    These terrible tragedies and the anger shows me that now, maybe more than ever, the world needs the Savior.

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    1. Christy, that is an excellent point about being overwhelmed, and thank you so much for bringing it to the discussion.

      Looking inward, I find that it does affect me, more than I would sometimes like to admit. Sometimes I'll turn away from what I can't affect, not because I don't care, but because one more tragedy just hurts too much to see.

      And we sure do need the Saviour. Right now.

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  8. Andrew, I'm so glad you expanded on this. I used part of your comment from yesterday in my post today.... You have helped me shift my own thinking to the lens of alienation and have given me a lot to think about. Thank you.

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    1. Annie, I am so honoured! Thank you so much for sharing this.

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  9. It's true. Isolation and alienation is epidemic. It's also true that the cure is connection. Thanks for expressing it so well, Andrew and giving practical tips to combat it.

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    1. Beth, I love the way you put this: "The cure is connexion." That's so well-stated.

      Thanks so much or being here.

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  10. THANK YOU for sharing! It really pained me this week to read about all the horrible things happening over there with you guys. And you're right, no law or idea will ever make such a difference, it can only start with us.
    I love, love, love your ideas to create community again. May we be brave enough to take the first step outside our own door.

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    1. Katha, I really appreciate this...and it's hard to imagine what this looks like from without.

      You're so right. It can only start with us.

      I truly appreciate your presence here today.

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  11. Wow... this is so good, brother! So full of truth and hope and wisdom --and great tips, too! As we know, Community is where it's at!

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    1. Thanks so much, Karrilee, and being from the 60s I LOVE the way you said this...community is where it's at!

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  12. "So get out there and lead!" Love your call to action, friend. Sending love and light this weekend. Your #fmf friend.

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    1. Thank you so much, Carolina. I'm really grateful that you're here.

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  13. yes andrew, i made it. slot 42:)

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    1. I'll be looking for you, Martha. Thanks for the update!

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  14. I agree with you that the world is in need of some caregiving. Thanks for this post! (Stopping by from FMF)

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    1. Thank YOU, Rachel!

      And thanks so much for being here. I really appreciate it.

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  15. Such a great analysis here, Andrew. I'm not American, but I see that same alienation and anger and need for real connection and care.

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    1. Jeannie, thank you so much for your perspective. It's such a hard situation...for ALL of us.

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  16. echnology has only hastened fragmentation. We're a nation of niches, served and cossetted to fulfill our specific needs and impulses.

    And in that, we no longer have to fit into a community. We can draw up a life plan that's just for us, and shared effort's become something quaint.
    Lack of community begets alienation, which in turn begets a spiritual numbness, turning life into an existential echo-chamber.

    Wow.

    Loved all of this. We just had a fire, red on the trampoline, and made an outodoor Barbie house for the girls. It was fun.

    We do need to connect more in person and experience life in front of us. There is something to this.

    The insta insta keeps our pulses beating to faster drum and we miss the settled moments God is handing us now.

    God bless ya Andrew, glad you shared bravely.

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    1. Meg, I love the way you said this..."we miss the settled moments God is handing us now."

      That's so true. We need to tae the time to just LOOK at something, or to run our hand over the sun-warmed wood of a split-rail fence.

      And we need to be able to do it together, and to find meaning in the mutuality of experience.

      Thank you so much for your company along this road!

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  17. Andrew, great great words. We have lost relationship with neighbor, with community, and yes, the only time this nation is united is after tragedy, and then, not for long. God bless your bravery for speaking out! God bless you. #50 this week.

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    1. mMry, you're so right...we will be united, and then will fall away again. It's hard to believe this is the same country that stood together after 9/11, sometimes.

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  18. You did it. I like a man with .... hutzpah!

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    1. Susan, thank you...had to do it. Couldn't rest otherwise.

      XOXOXOWggyWaggyWOOF!

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  19. Timely and powerful post, Andrew. Thank you. I personally need to read this every day... for my own good. Your words hit home again. Love to you, Barbara, and the dogs.

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    1. Julie, I'm so grateful for your kind words and heartfelt thoughts...thank you so much.

      Love back, from everyone here.

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  20. Andrew, thought provoking post for sure! This >>> "How can we become the caregivers for a nation, to give it some hope of recovery?" That is a question we all need to ask ourselves and I want to ask myself every day. May I be a caregiver that brings hope and grace and mercy - God's - to this world in some way each day. Praying for you & Barb!

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    1. Joanne, in your blog's ministry, you ARE a caregiver of the very best sort. You're a blessing to us all.

      We really appreciate the prayers. Today was hard; took a fall and cracked my head on a stone. Not fun.

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  21. Remember that old song, "What the world needs now is love, sweet love. That's the only thing we haven't plenty of?"

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    1. Jan, I remember that song very, very well. And it is so true today.

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  22. Great post Andrew! So true and so needed.
    We have a long way to go, but I feel like my family has received a head start since we have been without computer, tv and internet for so long. I have happily picked up some awesome board games and now that we are moving in town, I believe I can see more neighbors! I even found a monthly women's group at a church in town. I am so excited about it because they are literally opening the door to anyone who wants to attend. I am so excited about jumping in or creating community. Thanks for the extra encouragement. And the song. I am trying to think of where I heard it before. Was it in the movie The Poseidon Adventure?

    Praying for a blessed and beautiful week.

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    1. Kelly, I really, really envy you! And it's a 'good' ind of envy; I want the kind of life you have. Board games! How I miss those.

      And the women's group, with the open-door policy...OK, I guess I couldn't go to a women's group, but I would love to find a men's ministry like that. (Well,if I were still well enough to go.)

      And yes, the song was from 'The Poseidon Adventure'.good call!

      Thank you so much for the prayers.

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