I'm ready to die.
My body's breaking up fast now, new pain, and worse. And I'm so very, very tired.
It's in the bones and the lymph nodes and the lungs now. Oh, darn.
And from a truly dreadful pain event last weekend, my head's been recalibrated; I'm not really myself at the moment. Trying to navigate a life that's only half-remembered on the other side of Hell, that's hard.
I still have a hand-hold in tomorrow, and I intend to use that to pull myself forward.
There is Barbara, whom I can support in her diligent, dedicated work. I don't understand much of what she does (she's an accountant, for Pete's sake, and who understands that?), but she deals with people, and people I sort of understand. I can offer prayers and find Scripture that bolster her compassion and professionalism in bringing out their best. She's a supervisor, with the emphasis on Super.
There are the dogs, who have carried me so far, and whom I can support in love.
There are friends whom I can encourage, like Jeanne Takenaka, who writes a terrifically inspiring blog, and whose fiction will one day leave a bright meteor-trail in the Kingdom of God on Earth.
And Carol Ashby, whose historical Roman fiction, the Light In The Empire series, brings the Light of God's Love to illuminate dark old days.
Being ready to die doesn't mean giving up.
It means that I'm finally ready to live.
Music from Switchfoot, with Who We Are.
Please pardon my slow response to comments. I do my best, and your comments are really precious to me. Barb is answering many of them now. I'm running on fumes, if you don't mind a macho metaphor.
I'm grateful for the energy to have written this. I'm so glad Barbara's stepped in for many of my posts. I'm really not doing well at all.
Thanks to Carol Ashby, Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart is back on Kindle, and will be available in paperback soon.
Friends are everything. I couldn't have done it.
Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.
If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.
Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.