Almst all of us, I think, want to leave some record of our passage through this world.
Gutzon Borglum left the marvel that is Mt. Rushmore.
Gustave Eiffel left the tower in Paris that bears his name.
Claude Monet left a legacy of visual beauty, and Sir Edward Elgar left us with musical grandeur that has never been surpassed.
But I'm not Borglum or Eiffel or Monet or Elgar.
Pancreatic cancer has taken those possibilities. (OK, maybe a lack of talent too, yeah?)
The only thing I can now leave are my words, animated and informed by love.
Love for my wife, who has done her best to encourage those things that I could still do, who has stayed awake with me at night when I was screaming in pain, and who has taken up the burdens I can no longer bear.
Love for my dogs, who don't care that I can't run and play with them, who are content to lie at my feet when all I can do is watch a DVD. (They love the Thor movies.)
Love for my life, in which I can still contemplate the majesty of a starry sky, and still take delight in seeing a single desert flower in bloom.
Love for God, whose Grace is extended in helping me find joy in each moment, and hope for a future that I may never see...and He's telling me that the work I do towards that chimerical tomorrow is not wasted.
I just have to count on Him.
It's these loves that I channel into my words, to bear witness to the value of each moment, each opportunity to be a channel of His Grace.
Dying is the open door to life, and I'm privileged to be living it.
Out of curiosity, I recently looked at my blog stats, and found that I have a little bit more than 247,000 total hits.
That's almost a quarter of a million chances to speak faith, and hope, and most important of all, love.
Music from Sean Rowe, with To Leave Something Behind. It was used in The Accountant, a marvelous film to whose main character Barb says I bear more than a passing resemblance.
Please pardon my slow response to comments. I do my best, and your comments are really precious to me. Barb is answering many of them now. I'm running on fumes, if you don't mind a macho metaphor.
I'm grateful for the energy to have written this. I'm so glad Barbara's stepped in for many of my posts. I'm really not doing well at all.
Thanks to Carol Ashby, Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart is back on Kindle, and will be available in paperback soon.
Friends are everything. I couldn't have done it.
If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.
Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.