Thursday, October 14, 2021
Thursday, October 7, 2021
The world is kind of closing in. Can't get down to the workshop now; it hurts my leg too much to walk there.
And how can I have a metastasis in my femur, if I have to look up how to spell the word? That just seems WRONG, somehow, yeah?
But I'm short on breath, too. There are a couple of new chest tumours, visible through the ribs... I'm giving them names, now. These are Scooby Doo and Scrappy Doo.
But I am doing what I can, some custom woodwork for Barbie. It's not a lot.
But I have to believe it's worthwhile, for the alternative is abject despair.
You might be expecting a link to the old standard, 'Little Things Mean A Lot' here, but I REALLY don't like that song, so here are the Stones, with 'You Can't Always Get What You Want' instead.
Does look like Sylvia got what she wanted, eh?
Thursday, September 30, 2021
Wakey, wakey, Jesus Time,
Doo dah, Doo dah,
Thursday, September 23, 2021
Thursday, September 16, 2021
Thursday, September 9, 2021
Thursday, September 2, 2021
Thursday, August 26, 2021
Thursday, August 19, 2021
Thursday, August 12, 2021
OK, how could God be lonely? He's got everything, right?
He doesn't have us...we have to give ourselves to Him freely. Otherwise we're puppets.
And it's not OK when we don't give ourselves. He's hurt.
Witness the Garden of Gethsemane...Jesus asked His three closest friends to watch with Him while He prayed...and they fell asleep.
Thursday, August 5, 2021
Yes, since the sustained 107 fever thing, I talk with God. Didn't used to, but now He just walks in, makes Himself at home, and we have these conversations.
And they don't always go the way I think they'll go.
Recently, I was thinking how grateful I am for this second chance, to not be the 'old me'.
And God said, "I like the old you."
The day before yesterday, the cancer pain's back, especially the metastasis in my right femur, and I'm saying - out loud - "Pain is just weakness being forced from the body."
God blew a Bronx cheer, and then said, "Pain can be a warning, and it's always a byproduct. it's just pain, and being proud of how much you can tolerate is infantile...something like being proud of the smelliest bowel movement."
I don't think God likes pain. Recently I was watching the Hillsong Channel, and a preacher said that "Great things are birthed in pain." Behind me I heard a Bronx cheer (God does seem to like those).
I guess maybe He's seen more than enough hurt, and so I don't use my old favourite expressions, like "Blood makes the grass grow green."
Offending the Almighty's a bad idea.
The point of this is that in the past, I really didn't believe people talked to God. I thought they were having conversations in their own heads, perhaps informed by the Almighty, but that's as far as it went.
To be honest, I didn't really pay attention to what they said, tuning them out after "God said to me..."
Aside from the reality of His Voice (He's got a distinct Chicago accent, in case you were wondering), the deciding 'reality check' for me is that He flat out contradicts things that I say, and for a long time held dear ("Pain is merely weakness being forced from the body.")
A God who backed up my prejudices would be fun, be would also be a little-'g' god.
This dude is willing to fight me (like it's a contest, right?)...He's my Big G God.
Thursday, July 29, 2021
You think that having experienced a healing miracle, you're golden.
But that's not, and can never be, the case. Even Lazarus had to die.
I survived a sustained fever of 107 with the pre-existing conditions of pancreatic cancer and non-Hodgkins lymphoma, and that is miracle enough in itself.
But I wondered...might the cancers have been burned out, too?
For a few days I felt so good, I thought maybe they had.
But now, some of the old symptoms are resurfacing. I'd say it's discouraging, but that seems a bit ungrateful for the miracle I received.
I did receive a miracle, and if its purpose was to return me, alive and in good spirits, to the dire straits of cancer, it's still a miracle, and good enough for me.
I managed to answer the comments from last week's post, and will try to do the same this week...and I was able to visit some of you. Not easy, but y'all are worth it, and I do get lonely.