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Thursday, September 16, 2021

Importance Of The Five Food Groups

In my alcohol-and-testesterone-fueled youth, I was fond of saying that the Five Basic Food Groups were beer, pizza, beer, pizza, and...wait for it...beer.

Fast forward to now, and that's about all I can tolerate (alcohol and pancreatic cancer don't mix, but light beer is the only thing that stops the dry heaves, and lets me eat).

I suppose the moral of all this is that God is listening, and enjoys a good laugh.

But I have not tired of pizza, nor of beer.

I mean, who could?

God has thrown me for a loop,
and has, smiling, made it clear
that for me the five food groups:
beer, pizza, beer, pizza and beer.
Such a joke which I had told
when I was strong and I was young,
proud within the rugger-fold
where defiant songs are doing.
I guess the Lord had listened in,
and rubbed His hands in holy glee,
deciding humour was a win
for the clownish likes of me.
I did not put up a fight,
for, by Jove, the Godhead's right!

And since the Five Minute Friday writing prompt this week is 'purpose'...

Sometimes I feel so hopeless,
and it is then I wish
for a senseless porpoise,
a really dumbass fish,
but there is practicality
(for I am no fool),
and in my yard would have to be
a real big swimming pool
where the witless beast could swim,
then offer me advice
on how to turn each loss to win
(now wouldn't that be nice!),
just like thay book I gave my wife,
Rick Warren's "Porpoise-Driven Life".

It took five minutes to write, and I sure figure it shows.

In the absence of music (Blogger won't let me link a video on my phone), here are a couple of things pictures of Sylvia, my blog's public face, on an ice-cream run.



  1. Haha! Still got your sense of humour!
    I was thinking of Rick Warren's 'Purpose Driven Life' too or Porpoise!!

    1. Fiona, I am so glad you enjoyed the porpoise of my words!

  2. Andrew, you still have your sense of humor and play on words and you made me laugh!

  3. I mentioned Warren's book also!

    1. Susan, Warren's book is truly a whale of a message!

  4. it is funny indeed, but hey...it works right? :)

    1. Annette, so true...if it's funny and it works, that is good enough for me.

  5. God sure has a great sense of humour. Glad you're in good spirits, Andrew.

    1. Corinne, I figure that as long as I can laugh, I am okay.

  6. Hope you get your computer back soon. I'm missing your videos.

    1. Grams, the new (used!) computer is now connected, but Barb has figure out the internet stuff.

  7. Ah, that prolific sense of humor thrives!

    1. Linda, to me, if you can't joke about cancer, why have it?

  8. Replies
    1. Jennifer, Pit Bulls and ice cream cones just go together.