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Thursday, October 21, 2021

Dying Day

Do you ever think about the day you'll die?

I tend not to, but with tumours growing hideously now, and the metastasis in my leg making me unsteady on my feet (and causing bad falls), I guess I have to think about it.

In my own way.

A day of scarlet thunder
tearing through the sky.
A day of awe and wonder,
the day I am to die.
Should I treat this with respect,
or take it as a joke?
I don't know what I might expect
so I'll pour a rum-and-coke
and then light up a big cigar,
dropping ashes on the floor,
and sit where the wild things are,
my eyes upon the door,
with my Tommy 'cross my knees
to ensure the Reaper does say 'please'.

I'm so grateful to all of you who visit and comment. You make this life worthwhile.

The Five Minute Friday prompt this week is STILL. Kind of appropriate.

Perhaps it may not be a crime
against God's Holy Will,
that with all my heart I wish my time
would just stop, and stand still.
Sometimes I hate the run of days
that hurt worse than before,
and while I know that I must praise
I see that open door
behind which I believe and know
that paradise awaits,
but I do not yet want to go
through those Pearly Gates,
for even now, with this much pain,
I love this life, and would remain.

OK, five minutes thirty seconds...on my phone. I'll take it!

Music via link from the Marshall Tucker Band, with 'Heard It In A Love Song'. Why not?

From Sylvia's point of view, love songs should be written about ice cream.



 


30 comments:

  1. Andrew, it has been our greatest honor to have been carried with you on this journey of yours. Your tenacity, your love of life and Lord, wife and dogs... all of it has sown into each one of our lives, and we will care for the seeds you have sown, as from the hand of God. Thank you, Andrew. You are loved. Your life has mattered. You will not be forgotten. <3

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    1. Jane, please forgive my late reply... it's been a rough week...and know that I am so truly honoured by your words.

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  2. I continue to marvel at your creativity, AND your perseverance. Every word is so precious, so clearly from your heart. May you know that your life - and the way you hold fast to your earthly time while anticipating your eternal time - have made a significant, meaningful impact on my life, too. Sending love and prayers all the time, dear friend.
    Karen

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    1. Karen, gosh...all I can say is Thank You for this affirmation, and for the love and prayers. This means so much.

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  3. Andrew, you have impacted my life deeply. Truly all of our lives. Your life has touched so many and has made a difference. I don't know how long the Lord will continue to leave you here, but I know this - you will not be easily forgotten. You have made me think about time, the preciousness of life, eternity, and God in the most precious of ways. Praying for you and Barb, and know that you are a blessing!

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    1. Joanne, I won't deny that keeping up the writing can be hard, but a response like yours makes it so much more than worthwhile.

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  4. You and your words have been a gift and have made a difference. I am grateful for you and your precious Barb's tenacity to keep sharing your words. Praying for you both in this hard season.❤

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    1. Mariel, we're just so very grateful for your kind words here, and most especially for your prayers.

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  5. Joanne V is so right. You have impacted all of us. Your determination, wit, perseverance is beyond human almost. You know I'm over the moon with you and B. I know when the day comes (for any of us) we will never want to look back. Plus, you will get to finish your airplane in the great heavenly portals. xo

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    1. Susan, in the midst of what has been the hardest week yet, you've lifted my heart, more than you know. XOXOXO

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  6. Andrew,
    Your words reveal so much of your genuine struggle
    As well as your fight to know God more through your suffering. Thank you for opening your journey to all of us. I know words are limiting in their power to comfort, but God’s Word is able to comfort in a way nothing else can. I’m praying for you and Barb and that this scripture—my life’s verses, will help you today:

    “In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.”
    ‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭1:6-9‬ ‭ESV‬‬

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    1. Debi, thank you so much for this... your loving and affirming words, and the Scripture...as I reply in the dark of night, both are blessing and balm.

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  7. Your words, "I see that open door behind which I believe and know that paradise awaits, but I do not yet want to go through those Pearly Gates" remind me of the song by Mercy Me 'I Can Only Imagine' and I pray that in the midst of the physical pain, and life's little joys, that you sense His kind Presence near you and your family and that you experience His grace in the transitions your are experiencing.

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    1. Lisa, 'I Can Only Imagine' is perhaps my favourite song. I do feel and know God's presence in these days. It's been hard, but He's made it all worthwhile.

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  8. Dear Andrew, I am not a poet but the only way I can express how I feel is with these lines:
    Your words have cheered and guided me
    as I've developed in this craft
    It seems unfair that He is taking
    you from us so fast.
    May angels gather round you
    and protect you from the pain.
    May our love and thanks surround you
    until we meet again.

    God bless you and your family.

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    1. Tish, you ARE a poet, and your words are both blessing and inspiration.

      Thank you so much!

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  9. The best moments in life are those ones that you wish you could pause and linger in or, maybe, capture somehow so that you could return to them in the future.

    Amie, FMF #14

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    1. Amie, you're so right. Even this moment, with the metastasis in my leg making it a beat-the-head-against-the-wall experience, is still precious, with the dogs chasing and softly yipping across their dreamscapes.

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  10. I find as I have gotten older I long for heaven more. Not in a morbid way, but the next world will be so much better than this one. No more pain or suffering, no tumors, or sickness, just time with our Lord.

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    1. Cindy, I hear you...I look forward to the other side, too.

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  11. Just like the others have commented, I'm honoured that you share this journey with us. I'm glad you're still here and still fighting, but I think when that day comes heaven will be more wonderful than anything we could ever dream of. My friend's husband died a couple of months ago, around three months after being diagnosed with cancer, and as I was reading your post today I couldn't help thinking that the two of you will get on really well and I think he will appreciate your sense of humour!

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    1. Oh, Lesley, thank you so much for these compassionate words, and for this honour. I look forward to meeting your friend's husband there, and if I may say so... meeting you, as well.

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  12. The stillness of your words speak hope and love in this life and the next.

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    1. Rhonda, wow...the way you phrased this...thank you!

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  13. it think it's rather normal to want to cling to life. so my advice... keep clinging... what would we do without you anyway?

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    1. Annette, you gave me a smile that's shining through tears of pain (that leg metatasis...ugh!). I'll keep clinging. I still love life.

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  14. I love this, and I'm grateful for you and Barb.

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    1. Paula, thank you so much...and we are grateful for YOU.

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  15. Andrew, I am glad you are still with us. However, I wish you did not have to endure your pain.

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    1. Stephanie, thank you...I'm glad to still be here as well, and yeah, I could sure do without the pain right now. Especially at this moment as I am writing... it's hard.

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