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Thursday, November 4, 2021

Skating Through It

One of the hardest things about keeping one's chin up on the cancer road is the need to be not just active, but proactive about morale. It's so easy to fall into despair.

Especially now. My 'good hours' in the day are measured in minutes, and the rest of the time is spent trying to skate through the pain. I can't focus on a movie, and it's getting hard to read... just getting to the next moment, until fatigue overwhelms, is everything.

I'm not saying this to garner sympathy. It's simply true, and I have to work at planning ahead to use the hours I have in a productive manner.

It's no longer working upon aeroplanes, or even writing (there are novels that are finished, but I lack the energy to bring them to the light of day, and writing sonnets, always a challenge, is now very much an uphill climb).

So now it's custom gunstocks, made with hand tools, care, and, yes, love. Red oak (cheap!), laminated, and stained to taste with wine, then treated and polished with tung oil.

There is something almost mystical in listening to the wood, learning how it wants to be shaped. Grain is a language, and texture is poetry, far deeper than I can hope to write.

Or maybe it's all hokum, make-work for my End Of Days, but I don't think so.

Care about wood, you care about trees, and you care about Creation. And yes, I do see the irony of showing a love for Creation by working on weapons.

Works for me, and it had better. I'm running on empty.

 It can be tough when chips are down
to find a middle path ahead
between the moper and the clown,
the vivid and the dead.
You can fix eyes on the Hereafter,
but only for so long,
and then must find your love and laughter
in this life's ongoing song,
so take each given hour
and drink down every drop,
for when you're in the Looming Tower
time won't slow, nor stop
for you to find new ways of feeling
about the fate with which you're dealing.

The Looming Tower is a Qu'ranic reference (4:78); "Death will find you, even in the looming (or lofty) tower."

The Five Minute Friday prompt this week is PRAYER. So...

I may still be living,
longing for the air up there,
taking what God's giving,
living on a prayer.
I am daily praying,
for strength and hope and healing,
but, well, this might be saying,
or even more, revealing
the things that give me animation,
that sparkle in my soul,
and though I offer protestation
I know it makes me whole,
this life to which I yearn and cling,
to see grace that the morning brings.

There, five minutes (and it shows), but I also worked in last week's prompt, MORNING, so there!

Music from Kool And The Gang, with 'Celebration', through this link.

Let's celebrate with Sylvia, and ice cream.



 






 

32 comments:

  1. You are such an amazing encouragement and inspiration. In spite of many challenges I am pleased you still have a sparkle in your soul. Your hope as ever in Jesus. God bless your fmf neighbour #4

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    1. Loretta, I'm honoured beyond words. Thank you.

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  2. (((((Andrew)))))

    Every week you are a miracle and a blessing!

    Annie in Texas

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  3. continuing to pray for you and so grateful you had this sweet memory sweetened with ice cream :)

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    1. Mariel, we so appreciate your prayers... and the ice cream memory is indeed sweet!

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  4. Andrew, surely the Lord continues to sustain and strengthen you day by day. Totally amazing. And friend, there are prayers being offered for you and Barb every morning.

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    1. Joanne, He does keep me going. It's hard sometimes.

      We're so very grateful for the prayers!

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  5. Yes, beautiful. Joining with others in praying.

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    1. Tish, thank you for this, and for your prayers.

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    1. He does indeed sustain me Susan.

      And you help, more than you know.

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  7. Prayer is your weapon. Like the soil loves the tree and gives life to the tree so does prayer give life to your soil. Prayer cradles life whether answered here or there (heaven).

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    1. Rhonda, I love the analogy of the soil to the tree, and prayers to us Thank you!

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  8. Living daily with Him in God surrendered prayer is the only way to live.

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    1. Lisa, absolutely right. Surrendered prayer is the only way to go.

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  9. Though I don't have cancer, I can relate.
    We are blessed ever week you're still with us.
    Thanks for inspiring and encouraging us despite all you're going through.

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    1. Grams, thank you for this... and I am blessed by your presence here.

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  10. Prayer is what gets each of us through each day....glad you had another chance to share with us.

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    1. Jennifer, prayer does indeed make some days possible.

      I'm glad to be here, and glad YOU'RE here.

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  11. Getting creative sure is proactive, isn't it ... sounds like yet another legacy you're creating, Andrew.

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    1. Linda, yes... creativity is proactivity.

      Is that a word?

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  12. Andrew, you are a blessing. I appreciate the comment about the grain in wood. Nature has much to teach us. It speaks of love, beauty, grace, and goodness. You, also, are a channel of blessing. Out of your suffering you have found the better thing. I still look forward to reading your posts. God be with you, Norma

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    1. My dear Norma, thank you for this...the grace and love in your words have eased a very hard night.

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  13. You have such a beautiful way with words. It's so easy to dwell on the pain, but you continue to keep your attitude focused on greater things. Bless you.

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    1. Lisa, thank you so much... I'm so honoured!

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  14. You, Andrew, are an inspiration! May God's grace continue to sustain you each minute.

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    1. Thank you for this...and God does, indeed, sustain me. I'm so blessed!

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  15. I found your blog through Great-Granny Grandma. I was captivated by the poetry of your creation of that gun stock(?). My challenges are fewer, but your words encourage me as I face them. Thank you.

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