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Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Your Dying Spouse 393 - Why, Caregiver? Just Because {#write31days}

When someone you love is suffering, it's impossible not to ask Why.

If you're a Christian, you may believe it's God's Will, for a purpose only He can, at this moment, see...or, like me, you may feel that it's the result of a fallen world in which illness, like us, has a form of free will and can attack where it pleases.

If you're a Hindu or Buddhist, you may consider it karma, for bad actions taken in this life, or a previous life.

If you're an atheist or agnostic, I would assume you see fatal illness as blind chance, with lifestyle choices being a possible contributor.

But we really can't know. The religious take it on faith, the nonbelievers on assumption.

But the best answer for Why, in this life, the most practical answer...is the child's answer.

Just because.

It happened because it happened, and no amount of speculation will provide the true cause. We can look back and see a purpose (I certainly see purpose in my illness), but it's important not to confuse our view with God's. They may correlate, but that's at His pleasure, not our own.

So meanwhile...just because, and let it go.

And enjoy the days you have together.

Very appropriate music from the late, great John Denver, with Looking For Space.

My #write31days posts so far are:

October 2 - Talk To A Caregiver
October 3 -  Create A Caregiver Haven
October 5 - A Caregiver's Trust
October 9 - A Caregiving Plan?

Write 31 Days prompts - 2017

I do ask that you be patient with my slow replies to your comments (which we treasure). I'm trying to stay caught up.

Still hoping to get the new and improved version of Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart up and running in the near future. Just haven't had the energy to do it yet...but if you would like to read it, please say so in your comment and I'd be glad to send you a PDF (which should fit your Kindle).

I have another blog, "Starting The Day With Grace". The focus is a grace quote from someone you might not expect (like, say Mick Jagger) and a short commentary. I hope you'll join me.

Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.


And marley has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.

If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.


  1. So true- it's natural to ask why, but probably not really helpful. I love your insight that even when we can see a purpose in our pain that doesn't mean it's the same as God's perspective.

    1. Thank you so much, Lesley...you're correct, I think, in that asking 'why' simply isn't a help.

  2. I love that God is open to our questions and wrestlings and doubts and fears. Nothing can separate us from His love, even and especially as our faith is tested and stretched.

    Meanwhile, pal, you're in the home stretch of 31 Days. You made it!


    1. Linda, isn't it wonderful to have a God who really, really 'gets it'?

      And yes...almost there! I didn't think I would make it.