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Saturday, October 28, 2017

Your Dying Spouse 396 - Caregiver, Stay Connected With God {#write31days}

When it's three in the morning and the person you love is screaming in pain, far beyond anything that opioids can handle, you can feel mighty lonely.

Ask Barb. She knows.

I hope you can believe that there's Someone there with you though. Someone mighty, who wa a caregiver Himself.

You see, He had to watch His own Son suffer agonies.

And He couldn't lift a finger, because it would have negated His Purpose, and His Son's sacrifice...the sacrifice that bought you freedom from the fires of Hell. Only the pain, and death, could purchase that.

And he had to be a caregiver, standing on the sidelines. He had to watch.

He's walked this road for you. And while you may not be able to literally climb into His lap and get His reassurance, He has something that can help you.

His Word.

I'm not going to suggest that you dive into something like the often-misapplied Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 

It was written for the people of Israel in their exile; and the only future you may see for your beloved wife or husband is more pain, and death. Some things don't end well; ask Jesus, on His way up the Via Dolorosa. (And yes, there is the promise of Heaven, but that sometimes doesn't cut it with the pain you're witnessing inow.)

Far better, I think, are the verses that show God's love for us, even in the midst of our pain. (The first two are referenced from here.)

"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." - Matthew  10:29-31

We have an intrinsic value; one far greater than that of a sparrow, but since He cares about the fallen sparrows...and they will fall - He cares about you, too.

"I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." - Psalm 4:8

This acknowledges that we really don't control things, but if we believe in the Creator of the Universe, He does. And He cares.

And my personal favourite, John 11:35:

"Jesus wept."

He wept for the sisters of lazarus, who believed that He had not arrived in time to save their brother. He wept for lazarus, who had to endure the crucible of pain that death brings. And He wept for a world that would ever be a slave to death, until after he would die, and come again in Glory.

How we feel matters. Our tears matter to God.

Appropriate music is, I think, the Beatles' Let It Be.

My #write31days posts so far are:

October 2 - Talk To A Caregiver
October 3 -  Create A Caregiver Haven
October 5 - A Caregiver's Trust
October 9 - A Caregiving Plan?

Write 31 Days prompts - 2017

I do ask that you be patient with my slow replies to your comments (which we treasure). I'm trying to stay caught up.

Still hoping to get the new and improved version of Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart up and running in the near future. Just haven't had the energy to do it yet...but if you would like to read it, please say so in your comment and I'd be glad to send you a PDF (which should fit your Kindle).

I have another blog, "Starting The Day With Grace". The focus is a grace quote from someone you might not expect (like, say Mick Jagger) and a short commentary. I hope you'll join me.

Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.


And marley has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.

If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.


  1. Rich words in your post. May God speak through your words to all who read them.
    Jesus wept, such comforting words. GBU. Still praying.

    1. Norma, my dear friend, thank you so much, for these lovely words, and for your prayers.

      And I love the tag, Meridian Woman, more and more.

  2. Did you know amen means let it be? That's what we say every time we pray.

  3. It is so reassuring to know that God understands our pain and he cares. I love your insight about God the Father knowing what it is like to watch his loved one suffer and not be able to step in to stop it.

    1. Lesley, I find that thought vital now, that God gets it. Thanks so much for your lovely, gracious words and thoughts!

  4. What rich and deep thoughts - that God knows what it is like to watch someone dear suffer. Our suffering is not in vain. One passage that helped me a lot when recovering from a spinal illness which left me unable to walk on my own for a few months was from Lamentations:

    32 But, though he cause grief, he will have compassion
    according to the abundance of his steadfast love;
    33 for he does not afflict from his heart
    or grieve the children of men.

    1. Barbara, you're so right...our suffering truly isn't in vain. Our tears are collected by God, I think, because He can't bear to see them lost.

      I love the verses from lamentations...one of the most underestimated books of Scripture.