Sometimes, as a caregiver, you will find yourself hoping the rawest and most brutal hope there is.
It feels so wrong, and it goes against anyone of any faith is trained to think.
It feels like a betrayal, and a complete abrogation of the caregiver's purpose.
And I am here, as a terminally ill patient, to say...
I can see in Barbara's eyes how hard it is to watch me lose ground, hear in her voice the despair that drives her to her knees in the depths of the night, praying to a God whom she fears has scant time for her.
She wants the mercy to take me, to let this end, so that I am no longer screaming in the night and vomiting blood by day.
And she wants it for herself, too a release from this horrible bondage to a process that is implacably cruel.
I understand that. Completely. I have been a caregiver, myself, you see.
I felt the same way.
And it's OK.
Somehow I ended up doing two #write31days blogs; the other is on Starting The Day With Grace. I'd be honoured if you'd drop by.
The musical theme is The Traveling Wilburys' End Of The Line. The refrain, "...it's all right..." seems to fit. It;s kind of poignant...in the video there's a rocking chair holding the late Roy Orbison's guitar, and now Tom Petty is gone, too.
I do ask that you be patient with my slow replies to your comments (which we treasure). I'm trying to stay caught up.
Still hoping to get the new and improved version of Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart up and running in the near future. Just haven't had the energy to do it yet...but if you would like to read it, please say so in your comment and I'd be glad to send you a PDF (which should fit your Kindle).
Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.
If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.
Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.