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Love and marriage are the greatest adventures in life, and they point they way to our relationship with the Almighty.

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Sunday, October 8, 2017

Your Dying Spouse 376 - Caregiver, You Will Find Freedom In Truth {#write31days}

Dear Caregiver, you're not perfect.

Sometimes, you're not even adequate...and sometimes, well...

And that's OK. You have the hardest job on the planet, caring for a dying spouse, because illness has stolen all of your corporate dreams, and is holding the present hostage.

And you know that the hostage will be killed.

Everything you worked for, everything you planned for, all of the secrets you traded, hopes for a golden tomorrow whispered across pillows or spoke of more loudly, at Starbucks.

It's all been hijacked, and twisted, and torn.

It's upsetting. And you can't keep it all inside.

So some days you're impatient, and some days you're downright resentful of the illness that is personified in the individual whose bedpan you have to empty, and whom you must then wash.

Even if you've shared dreams that would make God envious...now it's down to faeces and carbolic.

You're not perfect.

But you're human, in all of your frustration.

And you're loved.

Madonna will graciously provide the musical theme, with Live To Tell.

My #write31days posts so far are:

October 2 - Talk To A Caregiver
October 3 -  Create A Caregiver Haven

Write 31 Days prompts - 2017

I do ask that you be patient with my slow replies to your comments (which we treasure). I'm trying to stay caught up.

Still hoping to get the new and improved version of Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart up and running in the near future. Just haven't had the energy to do it yet...but if you would like to read it, please say so in your comment and I'd be glad to send you a PDF (which should fit your Kindle).

I have another blog, "Starting The Day With Grace". The focus is a grace quote from someone you might not expect (like, say Mick Jagger) and a short commentary. I hope you'll join me.

Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.


And marley has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.

If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.


  1. Loved indeed! And being a caretaker is indeed one of the hardest jobs in the world.

  2. Stephanie, thank you so much! I really appreciate your being here.

  3. Amen! Caregiving is the most difficult job out there--I've never likened it to a hostage situation before, but you're spot on! Praying for you and Barb!

    1. Anita, thank you so much for being here, and most especially for the prayers. They are needed.

  4. Prayers for your family, and for strength and fortitude for you!

    1. Thank you so much, Anne. The prayers are really needed today.

  5. It's relentless. And the ending doesn't bring relief for the caregiver. The pain continues for them. Bless you Andrew!

    1. So true, Paula. Thank you for sharing this in the conversation.

      Blessings back!

  6. A special hello to Barbara today, friend. And thank you again for investing so much time in writing this month. You'll probably never know how much your words are hitting home for your readers ...

    1. Thank you so much, Linda! We truly appreciate your encouragement, support, and prayers.

  7. Nope, definitely not perfect. It helps as a caregiver to hear these things from one being cared for. That's the one thing we fear most, that a failure on our part will at the least discourage, at the worst harm those in our care. I'm thankful God is bigger than our failures. Praying for you and your dear wife.

    1. Barbara, you said this exactly right...God is bigger than our failures. Thank you for this!

      And thank you so much for the prayers. This has been a bad day, and they are needed.

  8. Home sick this week Andrew and ran across your blog while looking at Kara's.My wife is also the caregiver here. I applaud Barbara for her devotion to duty in the trenches.It gets ugly at times. I want you to know that you both are in my prayers and love. Also ordering your book. Billy

    1. Billy, I will pass on your message to Barbara. Thank you so much for this!

      And it does get ugly. That's today, for me. Vicious hours.

      We appreciate the prayers...and I hope that you find the book worthwhile!

  9. It is so hard and no one is perfect. You just do the best you can and I'm sure you are doing more than you think you are. We are always so hard on ourselves.

    1. Amanda, yes...we are so very hard on ourselves, harder than we should be. The Big J said 'love your neighbour AS yourself', and I think we often overlook that last bit.

      Thank you so much for being here!

  10. Good golloy molly, Andrew! Did you just watch a movie of my caregiving life?!

    *twilight zone music*

    Life can change drastically minute by minute. Prayers for all of us, patients and caregivers!