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Monday, October 23, 2017

Your Dying Spouse 391 - Caregiver, Sometimes Nothing Works {#write31days}

You do your very, very best. You're kind and gentle, you look things up to try to understand your spouse's illness, you follow all of the directions the medical care team gives you...

...you pray.

And things get worse.

And you wonder if it's something you did, or didn't do.

And you wonder if you have enough faith for your prayers to be heard.

Please know this...it isn't you.

None of it. Illness happens, and getting worse happens. The care you give, the support you offer, are actually making things better, even if it seems like you're having no effect.

You see, you're working with one 'test subject'; there is no 'control group' for this process.

You see 'worse', and you think maybe it's you...but what you don't and can't see is how much worse it would have been if you hadn't been there, doing your best.

Rest easy, dear caregiver.

You're giving all you've got...

...and it's enough.

How about some music from the late, great Tom Petty, with Freefallin' ?

My #write31days posts so far are:

October 2 - Talk To A Caregiver
October 3 -  Create A Caregiver Haven

Write 31 Days prompts - 2017

I do ask that you be patient with my slow replies to your comments (which we treasure). I'm trying to stay caught up.

Still hoping to get the new and improved version of Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart up and running in the near future. Just haven't had the energy to do it yet...but if you would like to read it, please say so in your comment and I'd be glad to send you a PDF (which should fit your Kindle).

I have another blog, "Starting The Day With Grace". The focus is a grace quote from someone you might not expect (like, say Mick Jagger) and a short commentary. I hope you'll join me.

Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.


And marley has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.

If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.


  1. Barbara is giving more than enough. But it's important to remind her.

  2. Hi Andrew, I am enjoying your daily offerings. Thank you. I have a caregiver post I'll be posting two weeks from tomorrow. It really takes care plus giving. I agree with your synopsis. It would be much worse.
    Wish I could get my nlbrumbaugh.com to show up here again. My MeridianWoman blog is inactive. Oh well. Wishing you the best. Norma

    1. Norma, my dear friend, thank you so much. I will be watching for your post.

      I truly appreciate your kind thoughts and prayers. These days have been dreadful, and typing has become very hard due to severe chest pain; have to keep my elbows out which makes me loo like I'm doing the Funky Chicken.

      I love the name Meridian Woman. It's you.

    2. Thank you for the comment/compliment. When I first started writing and sharing my story, a former guy friend always called me Meridian instead of Norma. I liked it. He encouraged me to start a ministry to help people. He said I have a global message (hence, Meridian) that should be shared. It's nice to have people who believe in you.

    3. I believe in you, Norma. With all my heart. You've been my North Star of faith, more than once.

    4. That's encouraging. I'm glad you do. You are that for many. Still praying.

  3. Thanks for this message, Andrew. I'm sure lots of people besides Barbara need to hear it.