Do you really know your spouse?
It's okay, I'll answer for you. No.
When we're courting, our beloved is our world. A day without him or her is like a day without the sun rising, and the smallest smile can light a day far beyond any logically mandated effect.
But the way we listen to them, and hang on their every word, is very selective. We don't get very far along the courtship trail' before we have a vested interest in hearing only what we want to hear. If something seems to contradict the image we've built in our heads and hearts, we spit it back out, as having been misunderstood.
When we get married, sometimes it seems that we're marrying the little plastic bride-and-groom cake toppers, because the real person, and the real history, has been ignored for so long that it may as well not exist.
After the marriage, there are things we can no longer ignore.
So we get bored, and say, "whatever". Instead of going the extra mile and only picking up the prettiest parts of our beloved's life, we now won't go the extra two feet, because we feel we know it all, already.
Is it any wonder that so many couples complain that their mates don't understand? They don't want to understand.
So many people live as roommates in their homes.
How to reverse this?
It's the simplest and most complicated thing. Listen, and be willing to learn.
And never, ever judge.