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Love and marriage are the greatest adventures in life, and they point they way to our relationship with the Almighty.

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Monday, September 16, 2019

Your Dying Spouse 672 - I Thought I Could

I really thought that I could do it.

I thought that by strength of character, will, and physical endurance I could burn the cancer out of my body, and emerge triumphant (and with a book deal and national TV interviews for having won through a miracle).

Sure I'd give the nod to God, but in my heart of hearts...

...it was mostly me, baby.

But it's not true, and barring a miracle worked from Above, I'm not getting out of this.

I won't say my own qualities didn't help in getting me this far; they did, though it was more God and less me than I might have wanted to admit.

But now, there's no way forward without His help. I can stand in place.

For a while longer.

Lord, when I call to You,
will You hear, and come?
This long game is nearly through
and I am sore undone.
I place such hope and confidence
in my strength and pride,
and now that I have no defence
will appeal be thus denied?
Lord, I was trained to stand,
but I know I should have knelt,
for only by Your mighty hand
could I won that hand was dealt.
I looked within, and found no part
of me, but just Your beating heart.

Music from Queen, with the somehow fitting We Are The Champions.

Thanks to Carol Ashby, Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart is back on Kindle, and will be available in paperback soon.

Friends are everything. I couldn't have done it.

Marley, the canine waif from Afghanistan, whom WE helped save, has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.


  1. (((((Andrew)))))

    Annie in Texas
    (I had to edit this. I wrote Andrew in Texas!)

    1. ((((((Annie!))))))

      My heart will always be Texan.

  2. Awww, Andrew, this is beautiful. And isn't it true that we have to humble ourselves to look and see just how much God helps us through this life, through the trials, the pain?

    I am truly sorry this is the road you are walking. Thank you for sharing authentically along the way. You are a great encouragement. I continue to pray for you and Barb.

    1. Jeanne, thank you for this.

      Honestly, I would not change a thing. On this road, I've come to know a God who will be there, who loves me, and whose tears cool the fevers my body now endures.

      I am in the place of grace, and I am content.

  3. Andrew, it's amazing that you are still alive after all this time of suffering. But you continue to inspire us. You may remember that saying from decades ago, "God isn't finished with me yet." He's not finished with you. I wish He'd take away your pain, but He hasn't taken away your purpose in living.

    1. Jan, I'm beginning to think that the pain IS the purpose, and that the deliverance from misery is the message.

      There are so many horrible things happening, and I should be long dead...but life endures.

      I had to descend into hell to meet God, and together, we rise.

  4. Your poem made me cry. Mark Patterson says "work like it depends on you, pray like it depends on God." We do have a part, You have done yours. Now it is ALL up to God. Love you, Andrew. Keep drawing near to God and hear His whispers.

    1. Mary, thank you so much for this...you really touched my heart with your words.

      God is here.