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Monday, December 17, 2018

Your Dying Spouse 555 - Well, That's One Way To Get A Reader

"You know," said Barbara, "the only way I really know how you're doing is to read your blog."


I've never been a big talker, and can generally get by in conversation on about two words an hour. But this was a bit of an eye-opener for me, since

  1. I'm married to the lady
  2. I've got a terminal illness that directly influences her life
The reason for my vocal reticence is, I think, that I'm just really tired of having to process pain and discomfort twenty-four hours a day. Add to that writing about it, and having to dig pretty deep (painfully deep, sometimes) for truths...and I'd sure rather crack really bad jokes.

Such as...Why did God choose mary to be Jesus' mom?

Because she was clearly adept with handling children...after all, the Bible does say "she was great with child".

Did that distract you from my being, well, disrespectfully uncommunicative with my wife?

No? Darn.

The point is that she shouldn't have to read about me in the papers, so to speak. No matter how tired I am of living cancer, I owe it to her to be at least illuminating, so that she can share this journey, and offer the compassion she so longs to give.

Lesson learned.

Music from Toby Keith, with How Do You Like Me Now?

Thanks to Carol Ashby, Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart is back on Kindle, and will be available in paperback soon.

Friends are everything. I couldn't have done it.

Marley, the canine waif from Afghanistan, whom WE helped save, has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.


  1. I'm thinking that Barbara is very wise and perceptive, Andrew. And I'm betting that more than a families where one of them is a social media afficienado end up finding out all kinds of things when they check out what their family member has posted ...


    1. Linda, I think that's very true...both Barb's wisdom (which is awesome) and the insights one can gain into a family member through social media, things that are never mentioned in conversation.

      Thanks so much for being here, and I hope you and yours are having a wonderful Advent!

  2. I, for one, say Andrew, as much as your words bring light and hope to me and countless others - if we take your energy away from Barbara - then let us go, rest in her arms...and process only with her. I know we'd understand. And I know our prayers will only increase the more. Praying for supernatural relief today :body, mind, heart and spirit.

    1. Jane, thank you for this...but not even Barbara would want me to pull away from the public stage. She thinks I am having an effect far beyond that which I assume.

      Don't know if she's right, but she's pretty definite.

      So I'll still be here.

      Thank you so much for the prayers!

    2. (... and she's right, you know.) Soooo... THANK YOU, Barbara!

  3. Sorry it's so difficult for you to talk with Barbara. But having this is better than nothing. I won't stop praying for both of you.

    1. Jan, in all honesty, this medium has saved my heart, and has given meaning to a process I would have thought devoid of any redemptive qualities.

      In truth, physically 'talking' about it would become something of a lecture. Barb doesn't need that, and particularly not a lecture from the brink of Eternity. She needs to move on, in THIS life.

      Thank you so much for your prayers!

  4. Communication on any level is a deep, hard process. I understand writing about it when you can't process your thoughts verbally. A huge subject in this house. I told someone yesterday, some people write themselves off; I am writing myself out of despair. Words are colossal. I appreciate you just "hearing" Barbara's voice and considering her voice in this. I will pray for understanding for both of you on this subject. Blessings to you!