Why we're here...

Love and marriage are the greatest adventures in life, and they point they way to our relationship with the Almighty.

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Wednesday, December 5, 2018

Your Dying Spouse 550 - Keeping It Real

One of the real balancing acts in being terminal is just how much to share, at home, via email (no more phones for me), and through my blog.

Obviously, there are some details that simply won't be shared, because they're physically and emotionally humiliating. Although...I have touched on incontinence, because it's hard for both patient and caregiver, and I thought I might throw some useful light on it.

The problem is that the physical, the emotional, and the spiritual are all very closely connected, and pretense ("God is with me, and I fear nothing") serves no useful purpose.

God is with me, but this is still scarier than anything I could imagine, and remember that Jesus was really scared too, in the Garden of Gethsemane. You don't sweat blood for the fun of it.

But there's another danger, giving a laundry-list of ills that becomes either boring, or looks like a plea for sympathy.

Don't get me wrong. I welcome sympathy. I'm a hardass, but a human hardass.

The balance, I guess, if found in the details, the details that will help both patients and caregivers, both current and potential, understand what exactly is involved in this kind of dying.

It's frightening and painful, and it can leave everyone involved completely undone, but there is still joy.

It's hopeless, but that very feeling of futility can, if faced, give birth to the most profound hope, and to victory over despair.

It's exhausting, but I am carried further and faster by Love than I could ever move on my own, even in perfect health.

So I guess I just have to tell pretty much everything, so that the darkest bits help to make the Light more visible, and brighter to our eyes.

And in this life, only against the stench of misery's ordure can we discern the true fragrance of Christ.

Music from The Seekers with Georgy Girl, simply because I really like the song.

Thanks to Carol Ashby, Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart is back on Kindle, and will be available in paperback soon.

Friends are everything. I couldn't have done it.

Marley, the canine waif from Afghanistan, whom WE helped save, has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.


  1. Andrew you are always honest and uplifting. God bless you this Christmas season, and I am keeping you in prayer.

    1. Claire, thank you so much...and special thanks for the prayers. Blessings back, now and always!

  2. When you finally get to Heaven you'll see what an inspiration you have been to all of us who read your blog. You are amazing!

    1. Jan, all I can really say is, thank you so very, very much. Being able to write this blog is a privilege.

  3. Praying our Lord holds you gently- each moment- in the palm of His hand

    1. Thank you so much. I am, indeed, in the palm of His Hand. Every moment.

  4. I didn't really understand that phrase "safe in the arms of Jesus" until I saw the peace on my brother's face after he completed his Journey. My mother and I were allowed to remain in his room at MD Anderson for six hours after he passed, and we both saw a slight smile on his face that increased as time went by. It was a comfort to us, and I did thank God that John was free from his suffering. I hope your pain is bearable until you too are safe in the arms of Jesus.
    Annie in Texas

    1. Oh, Annie, hat a lovely, touching witness. Thank you so much for sharing it here.

      I am safe, no matter the pain, no matter what. I'm His, and He is mine.


  5. Wow...just wow. This is amazing. Thank you for sharing with honesty and insight. I will pray for you as you walk through this extremely difficult time.

    1. Amber, please forgive my late reply...and thank you so much for your kind words, and your prayers.