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Thursday, December 14, 2017

Your Dying Spouse 424 - Into The Mystery {FMF/#adventphoto2017}

Joseph and Mary were going to Joseph's home town...and that familiar place became different, leading them into the greatest Mystery of all time. (Different is this week's Five Minute Friday prompt.)

I, too, shall soon see a mystery revealed...for I am going home. I reckon it will be soon, but I'll keep fighting this to the end.

It's quite a fight. I said to Barb yesterday that the end isn't going to be pretty. She replied, "It's not pretty now, and hasn't been for quite a while."

Yeah, well. Always said I would not go gentle into that good night. This is my chance to live up to brave words. In a welter of blood and puke and worse things.

And tears, admitted now because I'm past that point of shame.

But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep.

And miles to go before I sleep.

Music from Mary Fahl, from the film Gods And Generals.

Today's keyword for Advent-Photo-A-Day is mystery.

Previous posts in this series are

December 4 - A Caregiving Home
December 6 - A Caregiver's Vision
December 8 - A Caregiver's Renewal
December 12 - A Table In The Presence

Please pardon my slow response to comments. I'm doing my best, and your comments are really precious to me.

I'm really not doing well at all.

Thanks to Carol Ashby, Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart is back on Kindle, and will be available in paperback in a few days!

Friends are everything. I couldn't have done it.

I have another blog, "Starting The Day With Grace". The focus is a grace quote from someone you might not expect (like, say Mick Jagger) and a short commentary. I hope you'll join me.

Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.


And marley has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.

If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.


  1. Oh that "miles to go" quote reminds me of my friend Chris, who includes it on every podcast (it's a running/philosophy podcast). There was a beauty in my father-in-law's final days -- I can't really describe it but I was surprised, after all the pain and challenges in the weeks leading up to it. Sending love and prayers.

    1. Paula, what a nice synergy with Chris' podcasts!

      There is beauty in the ending; sometimes it's severe, but it's beauty nonetheless.

      Love and prayers are truly appreciated!

  2. You are brave. Praying for you tonight. You and Barb both encourage me by your perseverance and your example of love for one another.

  3. God be with you in your coming and your going.

  4. Awwwww, friend. I continue to pray for you and Barb. There may not be that traditional beauty in the going. But, you've revealed beauty and honesty in how you've overcome through this illness. I've been praying for peace for the two of you. I'll continue to pray. I've never heard that quote before, but I'm saving it and remembering you.

  5. You and Barb face each day with such perseverance and courage. May you keep on doing so. Having recently lost a family member, I will share this ... no, getting to the end may not be pretty, but the end will be beautiful. Praying for you both this morning.

  6. Andrew, it truly is a Mystery, isn't it? I can't imagine what it must feel like to live anticipating the birth of Christ even as you experience your own mortality, anticipating your death. Your honest words as you transition from this world to eternity are gifts to those of us who read them. Thank you for your courage, your selflessness, and your encouragement for the day we will each face the same questions. I pray for you a very beautiful Christmas...wherever you are blessed to spend it.

  7. Love to you & Barb as you lean into the mystery. xo

  8. Tears of sadness for you as I read about your tears of pain. And yet a bit jealous that you will soon see Jesus.

  9. I'm amazed at the way you keep tying your own suffering in with the Christmas story. You are one of the most creative people I've ever known even though I only know you through the internet.

  10. Hoping for a smooth and safe passage for you, Andrew.

  11. praying for you and barb andrew. the process of dying in now nearly as pretty as portrayed on TV. praying for you both during this time:( praying for the times of dancing ahead for you:)

  12. Mystery. Yes, that's it. Some faith groups talk about divine mystery more than others. I've come to like the sound of it. I have a dear friend whose father told him that he would leave pennies whenever he visited our world from the next life. Then he passed, too young. My friend finds pennies in the oddest places, when one wasn't there just moments before, and always feels his father is near. That may sound far-fetched, but that's the mystery. What will be your reminder to us, Andrew? Glad you're fighting hard. We don't want to lose you.

  13. Shame for crying? I do not understand? Tears can be a release of the balloon of sadness, anguish, fear, loss, longing, and regrets swelling inside. Pride to not let others know they are getting to us may make us withhold them. Sharing them with others we love can be a silent act of reaching out, closure, and even apology. I am sorry to hear of your suffering and the difficult time this is for you and yours. I see you have much love and comfort around you, you are blessed. I am amazed at how you prepared yourself in your final act here on this difficult planet. Glad God helped you.

  14. Andrew, this whole life is a mystery cause God is doing things continually that we don't see and don't understand. He is working out everything to our good and His glory. It is so different than the mysteries we watch, trying to figure out the bad. God's mystery is all about seeing the good. Prayers always. Keep fighting. Don't apologize for late responses...geeez!

  15. Shame is the last thing you should worry about. I can't even imagine what this advent and Christmas time is like for you as you're waiting for home. May you experience lots of peace and joy at this time. Emmanuel, God is with you and all of us.

  16. Weird that my last comment didn't post. You are brave and so loved brother.