Why we're here...

Love and marriage are the greatest adventures in life, and they point they way to our relationship with the Almighty.

We're honored to be a member of the Christian Marriage Bloggers Association...click on their logo to visit them.


Monday, December 4, 2017

Your Dying Spouse 414 - A Caregiving Home {#adventphoto2017}

A little change of pace, here. My friend Linda Stoll posted today on the Advent Photo-A-Day challenge, with pictures relating to given keywords (shown below).

Well, I don't have a camera, but maybe I can contribute by painting a kind of word-picture on terminal illness and caregiving during the Advent season. Worth a try, anyway.

So, today's word is home.

Cancer (or an terminal illness) is a homewrecker. It reduces horizons, shreds dreams, takes away energy, and batters faith.

We react with anger...but being angry at illness is futile, and being angry with God is silly...ater all, look what happened to His Son.

So we turn on each other, and all too often take out our frustrations on the ones - patient and caregiver - who deserve the most compassion.

We do this because of unmet expectations, dashed hopes, and the absolutely crushing disappointment of a future lost.

Our home was our castle, our safe place for a bright future, and it' falling apart.

Perhaps we should look to Mary and Joseph for help with this.

They were travelers, far from home, when their baby was born. And thaey had to make a manger, for those hours, their home.

It wasn't much; it certainly wasn't what they wanted at the time. But it was theirs, for those hours.

Home isn't a building, or even a family.

It's where you are.


Music from Johnny Mathis, with the appropriately-titled I'm Coming Home.

Please pardon my slow response to comments. I'm doing my best, and your comments are really precious to me.

I'm really not doing well at all.

Still hoping to get the new and improved version of Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart up and running in the near future. Just haven't had the energy to do it yet...but if you would like to read it, please say so in your comment and I'd be glad to send you a PDF (which should fit your Kindle).

I have another blog, "Starting The Day With Grace". The focus is a grace quote from someone you might not expect (like, say Mick Jagger) and a short commentary. I hope you'll join me.

Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.


And marley has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.

If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.


  1. Stephanie, I suspect that you may be right...my impression is that Mary was spirited, and Joseph no shrinking violet. Sparks may have flown, but eventually they served to warm the home in which they found themselves.

    Loved this comment! Thank you so much.

  2. Andrew, thank you for the picture of reality. Home seems to be that place where the beautiful and the ugly, the joy-filled and the sorrow happen. It ain't always pretty, even though for most people, "Home" connotes a refuge. It's saddening to realize what terminal illness can do to a home. I, too, appreciate how you showed that home can be made, whether or not, it's in an ideal dwelling with four walls and a roof.

    This is a wonderful post.

    I continue to pray for you and Barb as you navigate these days, my friend.

  3. Jeanne, thank you so much for this, and most especially for your prayers.

    Dying really shakes the foundations...but God stands ready as the shock absorber, if one raises one's eyes.

  4. Andrew, I just found your blog via Lisa notes. I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. Do you know who Corrie ten Boom was? She lived in a concentration camp and said that living on the doorstep of death changed her perspective of living. As I read through every book she ever wrote, it was obvious that she had gained something I didn't have - a closer bond with our Lord. Praying for you. Char (no need to comment - save your energy)