She's needed a caregiver herself, and I'm the only one available. So I was going to promulgate a Patient's Bill Of Responsibilities, but the salient item is this:
Stay in as good shape as you can so that you can do as much for yourself as you can, every day.
The medical 'machine', from hospitals on down, tends to infantilize patients, particularly those who are very ill. The cliche'd "How are we feeling today?" is just the start.
Your doctor will 'order' your admission to the hospital, and will 'order' treatments and tests that may or may not be explained.
You're 'released from care'...sounds like being released from incarceration, eh? yes, you can walk out, but it does take some nerve.
All the way through you're encouraged to be docile, and to accept being 'handled'. (I was never very good at this. last time I was admitted I stayed in my street clothes, and eschewed bed for the lounge, dragging my IV tree behind me, and carrying my laptop. The nursing staff actually got a kick out of it.)
It's so easy to fall into the trap of accepting service when you don't need it...and if you do that too often, eventually you can't do as you once did. You don't use the physical and mental - and moral - muscles, and they wither.
To be able to help Barb when she's sick I have to push myself hard every day, harder than I want to, because to take care of her I will have to push through what I thought were limits.
So I guess part of the pain I experience is self-inflicted...tomorrow will hurt partially because I choose to hurt, to be able to continue playing my role as husband and help.
So here's the appropriate musical theme...yep, you guessed it.
I do ask that you be patient with my slow replies to your comments (which we treasure). I'm trying to stay caught up.
Still hoping to get the new and improved version of Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart up and running in the near future. Just haven't had the energy to do it yet...but if you would like to read it, please say so in your comment and I'd be glad to send you a PDF (which should fit your Kindle).
Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.
If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.
Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.