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Sunday, September 3, 2017

Your Dying Spouse 358 - A Hope In Hell

This will be very short, because the weekend folded, spindled and mutilated me...and not in the 'Boy, was THAT a cool weekend!" way.

Barbara got a really cool haircut, and for part of the weekend I was so far gone I did not recognize her.

Not recognize THIS lovely face?????

It was really the kind of thing that, when you're lucid, makes you want to give up. Barb says that I did wonder how long I could keep this up.

But I'm still here, and it's partially thanks to a symbol of hope, a small red rock that I found in the yard last week, and plaed next to my computer. It's a deep red, and is startlingly heart-shaped.

A long time ago, I prayed to God to send signs to give me hope, and there was this voice in my ear..."What kind of signs?"

Oh, He wants me to specific! "Well, I said, aloud, something red."

"Something RED?"

"Yeah. Bright red, not New-Mexico-rust red."

Huge supernatural sigh.

And then red things started turning up, off things where I would not expect them.

Once I saw a piece of plasticized paper, a really small one, and for a reason I couldn't tell bent down to pick it up. It was part of a label from a water bottle, and when I spread it out..."Red Rock Bottling".

God apparently has a sense of humour, and I still have the label.

And now there is this heart-shaped rock.

It's not yet time to quit.

I do ask that you be patient with my slow replies to your comments (which we treasure). I'm trying to stay caught up.

Still hoping to get the new and improved version of Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart up and running in the near future. Just haven't had the energy to do it yet...but if you would like to read it, please say so in your comment and I'd be glad to send you a PDF (which should fit your Kindle).

I have another blog, "Starting The Day With Grace". The focus is a grace quote from someone you might not expect (like, say Mick Jagger) and a short commentary. I hope you'll join me.

Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.


And marley has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.

If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.


  1. Wow. Mine weren't red, but I asked Him for heart shaped rocks at the ocean last weekend and He showed me three. I will share a picture soon.
    Barbara looks great!!!

    1. Tammy, that is SO cool! he really does listen.

      I'll pass on what to said to THE B.

      Love back, from all of us!

  2. Barb looks fabulous. Red the color of HOPE. Remember Rahab hung the Tiqvah, the red cord of Hope! #hopechangeseverything

    1. Susan, she does look fabulous, doesn't she? And I had forgotten that red is the colour of hope...thank you so much for the reminder!

  3. Thanks for letting us know what Barbara looks like. It's nice to visualize people when I pray for them. (And I like her haircut, too.)

    And thanks for continuing these inspiring posts. God certainly isn't finished with you yet.

    1. Jan, I will pass that on to her!

      And thank you so much for this. It's good to know that God still has some use for me.

  4. Barb's hairstyle is adorable and I love her glasses! I love how you keep finding hope and have such a fighting spirit, Andrew. You are such an inspiration! Blessings and love to you and Barb!

    1. Gayl, I will let her know - thank you!

      And I so appreciate your words of grace. Thank you so much - and blessing and love back from us.

  5. I guess a few of us look for the heart shaped rocks, lol. No wonder they are scarce! A red one though, cool! An extra special sign! I always interpret rainbows, butterflies (seem rare these days), and hummingbirds, pretty dragonflies, etc, as signs from God. At least, they bring me some peace. Thanks for sharing the picture of Barbara and the nice song. Not so familiar with the song and video....was that your family? Sorry you had a tough weekend. Yes, holidays can be tough when others seem to be having a great time and we struggle in some way.

    1. Sophia, I was honestly floored when I found that rock. Totally unexpected (though not as unexpected as the label from Red Rock Bottling).

      I like the God-signs you see, and that they bring you peace.

      And I am glad you liked the video. Not my family - I have no family mementoes at all. Fastball is a very good band out of Austin, Texas.

      And yeah, Sophia...I totally track with you on holidays. There was a time I wished I could live in a place where none were celebrated.

  6. Awww, Andrew. What a great picture of Barb! She's rocking those red glasses. I love 'em. And yes, she's beautiful. I'm so, so sorry about the level of your pain. I love that God gave you the red heart-shaped rock to give you hope. He knows what we need, doesn't He?

    I'm praying and praying, my friend.

    1. Jeanne, I will tell her you said so! Thank you so much! She is almost breathtakingly lovely.

      And yes, God does know what we need. That rock was an important find.

      Thank you so much for the prayers!

  7. Your wife ... beautiful! Fun, too ...

    Are there any community / medical resources you can tap into to help you through this time, especially with your pain? Can Hospice be of assistance?