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Thursday, July 4, 2019

Your Dying Spouse 641 - Freedom To Love {FMF}

One thing I wish I could get across, in this whole messy process of dying, is the love that seems to become a part of me. Love I receive, and love I can give.

This morning I heard, distantly, a neighbour family arguing about getting ready for a 4 of July ecursion. Apparently some things had been misplaced, they were running late, an you know how that goes.

And I felt such a deep feeling of warmth for them. I wanted them to have a good day, to live the freedom of a holiday that is itself about freedom.

I loved them, and getting to the point where I could love them like that, all I can say is that it's worth it.

Cancer has given me the freedom to love.

How about that?

In the poem below, the expression 'in ordinary' is an archaic British navel term used to describe a ship that has been withdrawn from service for maintenance or disposal.

Likewise, 'the breakers' are ship-breakers, or salvagers.

These are days of diamond lights,
so precious to my aching heart
and soothing with the warm delights
from a loving God who plays His part.
Dying takes one from the flow,
in ordinary by a quiet shore
where the comings, to and fro,
are watched through a closing door.
There is such sparkle in the bustle,
a sheen of holy, not discerned
by those whose life is all the hustle,
but they still receive a grace unearned.
At last, as I await the breakers,
I find love for the children of my Maker.

An illustration to go along with this comes from J. M. W. Turner, The Fighting Temeraire, Tugged To Her Last Berth To Be Broken Up.

Music from The Carpenters, with Only Yesterday.

Thanks to Carol Ashby, Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart is back on Kindle, and will be available in paperback soon.

Friends are everything. I couldn't have done it.

Marley, the canine waif from Afghanistan, whom WE helped save, has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.


  1. Wow. Freedom to love. Powerful, brother. You are blessed. And may God continue to bless every second of your life! Abundant grace to surround you, legions of angels to minister to you. You are a blessing. Thanks for sharing.

    1. Mari-Anna, thank you so much for this, and for the blessing of your presence here.

      And...the Q4U at the end of your blog posts always makes me think!

  2. Before I saw the other comment, I was also saying: "Wow."
    Annie in Texas

    1. ((((((Annie!))))))

      Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

      That you are here, and I can count you a friend...


  3. Thank you Andrew for sharing this beautiful post. Enjoyed the pictures and especially the poem which captures so much loving meaning in such a concise and flowing way.
    Hope and courage will see you through the day. Have a good weekend, full of loving and caring.

    1. Susan, I am both honoured and humbled by your words. They come at a time when they are sorely needed; I am so grateful!

  4. Andrew, God is so faithfully using every second of your life. Your neighbors are blessed to have you!

    1. Joanne, thank you for this...and I am blessed to have my neighbours.

      Speaking is hard now, but when they drive by, I wave.

      And they wave back.

  5. I love you...in the very best way, my brother.

    1. And we love you too, Susan. You and The Hubs are in our prayers every day.

      Several times a day.

  6. Andrew, I believe this is one of your best-ever posts. Thank you for the reminder that we have the freedom to love. I'll be meditating on this one today.
    And praying for you and Barb, friend.

    1. Jeanne, wow...that is high praise indeed!

      We thank you so much for your prayers. The weekend was really rough. I'm hurting.

  7. I love how even in such suffering God is working such good in you. Your love and warmth for others comes through in your posts and your comments.

    1. Lesley, I can't tell you how much this affirmation means to me...this is SO what I want to be doing!

  8. That's really something. Thanks for sharing the brilliance of love that's free to love. Bless you, Andrew.

    1. My dear Norma, thank you so much for these kind and affirming words...and pleae know that your friendship is a blessing beyond price.