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Thursday, January 10, 2019

Your Dying Spouse 566 - A Sense Of Wonder {FMF}

Well, it's hard to imagine this getting worse, but now there are lesions and ulcerations in my throat - connected with lymphoma, I guess, which make swallowing really, really hard. Not to mention talking.

On the other hand, the only relief comes from gargling with cheap champagne. I feel like a rock star.

And there were two bad falls, from icy steps onto concrete. The second one did a lot of damage.

And this is only the beginning...but as life is taken, piece by bloody piece, I feel really good about life.

What were small delights, like some late Christmas lights shining across the far side of the snowy mesa, bring a kind of fierce, untrammeled joy.

I always wanted to use that word, untrammeled. It's kinda groovy, dig it?

And then there is Labby, an enormous black Lab (over 150 pounds!) who is just now learning to walk on a leash. I'm so very tired these days, but somehow never too tired to take Labby for a walk. (He has no sense of personal space, and when he wants to pop up and say 'Hi!', brace yourself.)

I don't and can't know God's plan, but what I see, in the face of death, is Joy.

Appropriate to the subject is John Denver's lovely, sweet song Marvelous Toy.


Thanks to Carol Ashby, Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart is back on Kindle, and will be available in paperback soon.

Friends are everything. I couldn't have done it.

Marley, the canine waif from Afghanistan, whom WE helped save, has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.




Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.







38 comments:

  1. You are being poured out as a drinking offering. Who knew it would be of the gargling champagne variety... Praying for LOTS more untrammeled joy for you, friend. (and sleep of the painless variety and no more lesions of ANY variety!)

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    1. Jane, thank you so much for this. I'm honoured.

      And thank you or the prayers...please know that you are in ours.

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  2. I have a golden retriever (part lab/part Irish Setter) - and they are such hospitality dogs, so full of untrammeled joy and companionship! Except for the jumping, I imagine yours is tremendous comfort! It's been a year with loved ones with dementia or carcinoids creating havoc - and watching how everyone is handling their challenge - I read your post - and want to live the challenges with the hope, faith and determination you chose to grab hold of joy - joy (which I've been trying to grab hold of this past year). Yes! Praying much untrammelled joy - and continued determination to extract all the good stuff!

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    1. I love Goldens! We also have a yellow Lab, Chris...he's very much The Adult In The House...not a typical Lab trait.

      I'm so sorry you've had a hard year, and so glad you found something of value in my words.

      I truly appreciate your prayers...and we're praying for you.

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  3. Untrammeled is a great word. Thanks for your witness of joy, even amid the pain.

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  4. John Denver never sang a song I didn't like.
    ((((Andrew))))
    Praying in Texas!
    Annie

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    1. ((((((Annie!))))))

      I so agree! This one is one of my favourites, along with "Looking For Space" and "Shanghai Breezes" and...

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  5. There are so many cutesy little pinterest quotes about "live like you are dying", (even country songs, right? I mean, OF COURSE they'd be country!) those words have always lead my thoughts along the "take those risks, today might be your last" sort of mantra, but your words in this post specifically have made me realize I had it all wrong. the joy and beauty held within the small, (ordinary to some, magic to others) things is how to truly do that. I read your words about things getting worse and all at once my heart fills with so much overwhelming compassion for you- BUT, then I read the words which followed and I'm sorry, but my heart feels full for you. That amidst so much increasing misery, you are able to grasp the heart of Jesus and the love he has for you in WANTING you to be overcome with Joy. You are a light, by your words, but also by shining a light on a path that we each will take someday. I am so grateful and sad and a mix of all the things...

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    1. Oh, Misty, I do remember that song! And I used to take it to heart, as well. Until I learned, and the learning has been worth the pain.

      This comment, and your friendship, are a treasure. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

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  6. Your words are always untrammeled. I do like champagne Andrew but I'd like you to be more careful when outside. NO MORE FALLS. (((xoxo)))

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    1. Susan, thank you so much...and definitely, no more falls. These did take a toll. (((((XOXOXO)))))

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  7. As I read your post, I thought of the Bible verse "Come to me all You who are weary and heavy leadened and I will give you rest." I'm in the 30 spot this week.

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    1. Tara, the verse is perfect. Thank you so much!

      I am really, really tired.

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  8. I always love reading your posts because your attitude is so inspiring and they make me realize my troubles are nothing compared to yours. I hope I can develop the kind of attitude you have.

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    1. Jan, I'm so honoured, and humbled. Thank you.

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  9. I don't think I've ever used the word untrammeled before either! And I'm glad Labby is bringing you joy in the midst of all the pain. Praying for you!

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    1. Lesley, it is a cool work, eh? And Labby is a delight. He's learning how to walk on a leash, and he's so determined and anxious to do it right, that sometimes he trips over his great clumsy paws.

      And thank you so much for your prayers.

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  10. And it's marvelous that you're still here and can still say "I feel really good about life." You're amazing. Glad Joy is your's in the suffering. That's hard to imagine. GBU.

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    1. My dear Norma, thank you so much for these lovely, loving words. They mean more than I can say.

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  11. Andrew, thank you for sharing untrammeled joy with me through this blog, and for the poem in your comment on mine. I'm only beginning to appreciate poetry, and look forward to exploring The Sons of Martha some more. Praying for you!

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    1. Karen, I'm so glad you enjoyed 'The SOns Of Martha'! I've always loved Kipling; he's one o the very few writers who can use vernacular - for a splendid example, see 'MacAndrew's Hymn'.

      Thank you so much for being here!

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  12. Well, Andrew, you taught me a new word today - untrammeled. I had to look it up and I think it's a perfectly delightful word! You are such an inspiration, Andrew. Even in so much pain you find joy, because you know the true source of joy. Joy is my word for this year and I want to find joy wherever I am but especially at home. With Jesus as the source, I know I will. May I be able to say this at the end of my life, "I don't and can't know God's plan, but what I see, in the face of death, is Joy." Blessings, love and hugs to you and Barb! xo

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    1. Gayl, joy is such a wonderful word for 2019!

      Thank you so much for your kind and gracious words. Blessing, love and hugs back from all of us!

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    2. So did I! Joy is my favorite word!

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  13. Oh, I forgot to mention I love the John Denver song. He's a favorite of mine but I have never heard The Marvelous Toy before today. :)

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    1. Gayl, I'm so glad I could introduce you to this wonderful song!

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  14. I love that you're gargling champagne. I don't love that you have to do it, but what a way to ease the pain, right? Keep looking unto Him, the author and perfecter of your faith. He who began this good work in you won't leave it unfinished. Jesus is with you.

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    1. Marie, I'll take my champagne-blessings where I can, and enjoy them to the full!

      And I'mm really OK. He's got my back, and front, and sides.

      I'm His.

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  15. What a witness you are, Andrew. Thank you.

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    1. Stacey, thank you so much for this, and for being here.

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  16. I love that you are bringing big, impressive words to the table today, Andrew! I'm not sure if I've heard of that word before. It sounds kind of familiar. But I think it perfectly reflects your unflappable and unrelenting attitude and hope in life! You inspire us all--not just to pick up our dictionaries, but to live life to its fullest, my friend! Praying you can endure the pain even as your condition worsens. Hugs!

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    1. Beth, wow...I am so honoured! Thank you for this...you made my day...and thank you especially for the prayers.

      Right now, typing this, it's very bad. But I love the life that God has given me, and I love the God that loves me.

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  17. Love your posts, Andrew,including the music. Will go back through them when I get a moment.

    For now, here is a poem I wrote for a friend who was going through a hard time but never showed to her. Now, I give it to you:

    I wish for you theophany,
    a fringed and tiered umbrella to announce your royalty.
    Though the arrows pierce right through you
    yet may they not come near you
    as in the eerie battle-walk in Psalm one-and-ninety.

    I wish for you a covering,
    your sin swallowed up in His offering.
    May the Father’s kindness come
    between you and the desert sun,
    a cloudy pillar hovering.

    I wish for you – in agony,
    that comes to all who battle; we
    are not alone
    though so few know
    our lonely, outcast misery,
    and though you feel forsaken utterly –

    My prayer for you – in agony –
    a pillar of fire warming
    your limbs to stop them stiffening
    your tears that should make heaven ring
    a glory and a covering.

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    1. Jennifer, wow...I am SO HONOURED! This poem is brilliant, the work of a master.

      I'm grateful beyond words.

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  18. Andrew, I'm glad you can find humor and JOY in the midst of darkness. You are still able to "taste and see that the Lord is good."

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    1. Stephanie, thank you...I'm so glad I can find these, too!

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