Why we're here...

Love and marriage are the greatest adventures in life, and they point they way to our relationship with the Almighty.

We're honored to be a member of the Christian Marriage Bloggers Association...click on their logo to visit them.


Monday, June 11, 2018

Your Dying Spouse 483 - Anger Isn't Inevitable

This will be short - my latest near-death thing last week has left me pretty trashed, with sharper pain in more places, and it's getting worse.

I'm not giving up, by any means, but you've got to face it to fight it, yeah?

And in fighting it, I'm not angry. Pancreatic cancer is nasty and humiliating, and non-Hodgkins lymphoma (for which I'm highly symptomatic) is painful and exhausting (and itchy!)...but that's just their nature.

Being angry at them is like being angry at a boulder. And then kicking it.

I could be angry at a health-care system that spit me out when I could no longer work, and leaves me with no affordable options (the premiums on the cheapest plans are unaffordable, let alone the high deductibles they carry...and I'm not about to leave Barb burdened with debt when I die). So I could be angry at the heal-care system, and angry at the government for completely screwing it up under the previous administration.

But again, what's the point? The high-priced system we have grew organically from prevailing economic and societal conditions, and the government meant well. They tried to fix a problem that is probably fundamentally insoluble in the short run.

So that leaves...God! I can shake my fist at God, and scream at Him...and He promises to listen! At least I can make Him feel really bad, yeah?

Trouble is, I'm not mad at God. I don't think that He capriciously tossed me into the fire, just to make me 'draw closer to Him'. That's like beating a horse to get it to love you; you may break it, but you'll never have a steed. God's not like that.

So maybe this was all random, just a product of free will in Creation that was made necessary by original Sin...

Or maybe it's all part of a purpose that I can't begin to comprehend, and maybe this blog is part of that purpose.

Maybe I was just the right individual to pass along this message, or maybe I was in the wrong place at the right time, and my head was reshaped to fit this metaphorical hat.

Maybe it's all these, or none of these.

It doesn't matter.

Anger won't solve anything, and it won't make me feel better.

The only thing that will make me feel better is knowing that, at the end of the day, I was the best and kindest I could be.

How about some Cat Stevens, with Another Saturday Night?

Please pardon my slow response to comments. I do my best, and your comments are really precious to me. Barb is answering many of them now. I'm running on fumes, if you don't mind a macho metaphor.

I'm grateful for the energy to have written this. I'm so glad Barbara's stepped in for many of my posts. I'm really not doing well at all.

Thanks to Carol Ashby, Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart is back on Kindle, and will be available in paperback soon.

Friends are everything. I couldn't have done it.

Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.


And marley has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.

If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.


  1. "The only thing that will make me feel better is knowing that, at the end of the day, I was the best and kindest I could be." Wow, what a profound statement and one we could all reach for with God's help. Blessings and love to you and Barb! Glad you are still writing, though it must be hard. Your words are needed!

    1. Gayl, thank you much...it is indeed hard to write now, but it's worth it. There's yet love to give.

      Blessings and love back from both of us!

  2. You know I won't stop praying for you.

    1. Jan, thank you so much. The prayers are much appreciated, and needed.

  3. Thank you for the energy it took out of you to remind us how impractical and unfruitful anger can be.
    I get excited every time I see your post because I know you've overcome another hurdle. 💞

    1. Lisa, thank you so much...and you just made my day!

  4. I've known for some time that anger is not a fruitful response to anything in life. I used to wonder why God gave us that emotion... it just makes me feel sick anyway. But then, in a few situations, it might be good... i.e., getting angry ABOUT the lack of water in another country would make you want to DO something positive about it (Go dig that well, Christian!); or mad enough to DO something to change the health care system. :)

    I guess it all depends on whose point of view you use... ours... or God's.

    Always praying for you guys! Blessings!

    1. Diana, I think you're exactly right...a 'sharp' anger can do God's work, while a dull anger is simply a aste.

      We so appreciate the prayers. Blessings back!