It was just so awful; I could feel - and hear - heart and breath come to a stop. (Want to know how it sounds? A groan, like a rusty gate slamming shut for the last time. I don't want to hear that ever again.)
And it hurt, worse than anything I have ever known. IT HURT.
I was standing in the living room, and pitched backwards onto a settee. Completely paralyzed, and just a passenger, waiting.
The service dogs - Sylvia, Ladron, and Strawberry, all girls - leapt into action. Syl jumped up and down on my chest, and as light and hearing faded she was roaring into my face.
And Lardon and Strawberry...well.
How do I describe this? The front door opened, and Jesus - not looking anything like He's even been painted - walked in, utterly recognizable, surrounded by bright-glowing coloured fog and sparkly sparkle-things. He extended His Hand to me.
I couldn't reach back, or, for that matter, resist.
And then Ladron and Strawberry stopped Him. Jumping and snapping - I suspect He was bitten - they held Him back.
Not our Dad. Not today. NO!
He tried to reach around, and past, and then just kind of waved (Later!), turned, and went out. The door closed behind Him without His touching it. A few sparklies hung in the air, bright as the sun.
And I took a ragged, painful breath. It hurt worse than anything so far.
It was hours before I could move, and I was shaky and vague through the evening. When Barb got home she was surprised I was on my feet at all. Nearly wasn't, but each step I could take was a needed step beck into life.
Today was a day to take it easy...but that's really not my style. I didn't do the normal workout of pushups and chinups and weights and other stuff. I did more.
When you're hit, you have to take the punch, and then come off the mat and deliver a left straight hard enough to flatten Cleveland.
It hurt, doing that...my God, did it hurt, and it still does.
I'll cry tomorrow.
Because I will be here tomorrow.
And the sparklies still hang in the air.
Please pardon my slow response to comments. I do my best, and your comments are really precious to me. Barb is answering many of them now. I'm running on fumes, if you don't mind a macho metaphor.
I'm grateful for the energy to have written this. I'm so glad Barbara's stepped in for many of my posts. I'm really not doing well at all.
Thanks to Carol Ashby, Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart is back on Kindle, and will be available in paperback soon.
Friends are everything. I couldn't have done it.
Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.
If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.
Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.