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Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Your Dying Spouse 320 - At The End Of All Things

And now I am past bravado, and past surrender.

There are simply no words for these days save that they have to be endured, and I have to pull myself to my feet when I least want to.

There are so many cliches. I'm Jim Bowie at the Alamo, waiting for the Mexicans to come through the door to my sickroom.

I'm John Basilone on the edge of the Guadalcanal perimeter, waiting for the Japanese in the night.

And I'm Jesus on the Via Dolorosa.

But the reality is that I'm none of this. I'm just me, trying to keep my bearings and my balance, and trying to remember what I need to do next.

Until I can sit down again, on the floor, my back propped against a wall.

Or lie on the floor, on my side, knees clutched to my chest.

There is no grandeur here, no far-reaching honourifics.

It's a horrible, vile mess, and it must be a mistake on someone's part, somewhere.

This was not supposed to be my life.

But actually, it was, and it is.

At the end of all things, all we're left with is our faith, and our hope, and our love. These are the imperishables, but they're ours to throw away if we choose.

It comes down to a choice, reinforced now, and reinforced again as I finish typing this sentence.

I believe in God, and in my salvation through Christ's atonement for my sins.

I have hope because Christ went before me, and rose from the dead, something witnessed by dudes who had no reason to lie...just the opposite, claiming to see a risen Lord signed their death warrants.

And I will love others as Christ loves me, to the end of my physical being and beyond. I will heedlessly spend my energy and life in handing out love, without restraint or any quid pro quo. I will become love.

The musical theme is courtesy Jim Croce, whom I suppose I shall soon meet.

We're linked with Messy Marriage's superb From Messes To Messages - please visit for some great marriage resources!

Still hoping to get the new and improved version of Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart up and running in the near future. Just haven't had the energy to do it yet...but if you would like to read it, please say so in your comment and I'd be glad to send you a PDF (which should fit your Kindle).

I have another blog, "Starting The Day With Grace". The focus is a grace quote from someone you might not expect (like, say Mick Jagger) and a short commentary. I hope you'll join me.

Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.


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  1. Beautiful! Your words bless me and I am honored to know you and your journey. Sending love!

  2. Beautifully said and heartfelt as always, dear Andrew. May God be near and comfort.

    1. Thank you so much, Gayl. God is indeed near.

  3. Beautiful words as always. If only we all had the mindset to become love. Blessed to know you and thankful you have the desire to share your journey. You words make a difference. Prayers for you and Barbara.

    1. Michele, I so appreciate this, and we so value your prayers!

  4. The blessed hope is before you. Thank you, Andrew, for being faithful in the journey that you didn't expect to take, for being love to others when you could've stopped, and for holding fast to the end with your dignity in place. You are an encouragement to me.

    1. Norma, you're sure right that I didn't expect this journey, but I am becoming more convinced that it is God's 'right place at the right time' for me. Seen that way, I can't resent it...and I am so very honoured that you find me an inspiration!

  5. What a beautiful post, Andrew! I'm so sorry that you are so weighed down and afflicted by the process of dying. It must be horrific. But if anyone has the courage to endure, it is you! And God has given us so many blessings through your pain. Thank you for being a willing servant of His! Hugs and prayers being offered for you this very minute!

    1. Beth, thank you so much. Yeah, it is horrific, especially the last few days. But you're right, God has given me tremendous blessings...and some of them could only be reached by walking through that valley of pain.

      Hugs and prayers are very much appreciated...and needed.

  6. Love that Jim Croce tune, but I will never hear it the same way. What an honor it has been to be on a small part of the journey of your life. It has been truly inspirational, and I am so blessed. My heart, too, is broken by the messiness and weight that you are experiencing right now. I hope it blesses you to know that none of it has been for naught. Your words have touched oh so many hearts...and they will go on, God willing, to encourage and inspire and bless.

    You certainly did not let life "pass you by"...

    1. Pat, I am glad you like the Jim Croce song...it just seemed to fit. And I truly value your companionship with me through this process. It means a lot to me, and your comments lighten the gloom that sometimes threatens to envelop me.

  7. What an encouragement it is to see you persevering and clinging to Christ. I'm so thankful that you have hope in your very hard days. Praying for you and Barbara today.

    1. Rachel, it's funny but the worse things get the easier it is to ride this out in Jesus' shadow. Faith is watered by tears, and the nutrients for its soil are provided by blood. It took a very hard road for me to realize this.

      We so appreciate your prayers; you are in ours. daily.