Well, not really.
(We're here with Five Minute Friday, and as usual I have to write ahead of the keyword reveal, but I'll include the word if I can...later.) (It's FUTURE, and I worked it in.)
Where was I? Oh, yes. Masochism. Bring the pain, I love it.
Well, not really that, either.
It's severe enough now (and coupled with fatigue) to keep me flat to the floor for long hours. Getting up to write and comment is becoming difficult. Sitting up to watch a DVD is difficult.
It's a 'nasty' pain, like an infection, or a very bad bruise, not a nicely satisfying discomfort like you get from exercise...the 'feel the burn' thing so beloved of Nike and Reebok commercials. (Oh, you think that's baloney, too?)
Anyway, pain hurts, and the conventional wisdom is that we should do what we can to alleviate it. But I don't want to.
Not because it's fun, but because it's leading me to understand something. I have to work my mind around a mass of pain that is both solid and dynamic; I can't escape it, but I can train my body and mind to react in a way that allows me to keep functioning (sort of), and to keep thinking clearly (mostly).
And I can identify, just a bit, with the Saviour who endured agony for me. For me, personally.
That is the main thing pain has taught, and I stand in deep gratitude, even though pain is my future.
For salvation by Jesus' paying my debt of sin - inherited and gleefully practiced by yours truly in his worse moments - that atonement can be nothing else but personal, because I'm not 'one of the mass'. There's no connexion between me and any other person, that links us in some kind of Vulcan mind-meld.
I'm an individual - and I own my sin, and Jesus' owns the payment of my debt.
And He chose to own the pain that went with it.
So I want to own this pain. Not to think I'm evening the score, but to gain some appreciation that the scourging and the walk up the Via Dolorosa and the Crucifixion were made all the harder, because He was carrying me on His back.
And how does rugby come into all this?
Well, I figure that Jesus plays rugby, and when I get to Heaven, I'm thinking I'm gonna find out just how hard the dude tackles.
It's going to be fun.
And it's gonna hurt.
The good kind of pain!
(All of the above is quite aside from the fact that every pain med I've tried had side-effects that were eventually worse than the pain itself.)
And for some reason, I think the best musical accompaniment is Kenny Chesney's Young. What do you think?
Still hoping to get the new and improved version of Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart up and running in the near future. Just haven't had the energy to do it yet...but if you would like to read it, please say so in your comment and I'd be glad to send you a PDF (which should fit your Kindle).
Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.
If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.
Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.