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Thursday, October 20, 2016

Your Dying Spouse 222 - A Question Of Character {FMF}

We're back with Five Minute Friday, the keyword-driven timed writing challenge hosted by Kate Motaung

This week the word is PARK.

One of the hardest things about being 'parked' far closer to the end than the beginning is the inevitable 'taking stock' of one's life. While I try to be a Zen master and live in the moment, it's not always possible, and my failings come back to haunt me in the words of others, and in my dreams.

There won't be much chance for movement now; there won't be the opportunity to use the correction fluid of time and energy to make things right, to rehabilitate my image.

There are a lot of failings, and some are quite serious. You know of a few; I may use this forum to describe others, for the help the example they may give to someone else.

But now, with the US presidential election less than three weeks off, I'll be topical.

I've had to own up to my own mistakes. First to myself, and second to others who were affected. It hasn't been a pleasant process, and has changed me. A lot of self-image has gone by the wayside, and I can't make things right and rise again.

One of the major candidates this year also has the problem of a less-that-stellar career, and has chosen another path.

Hillary Clinton is evading that to which she should own up. She claims thirty years of 'service'; she owes us something more than we've been given.

  • Mrs. Clinton, working as a lawyer, plea-bargained a child rapist down to little more than time served before the trial...and laughed about it in an interview.
  • She claimed that no Americans died on her watch in Libya, which is simply not true. Ask the families of Chris Stevens, Sean Smith, Glen Dougherty, and Tyrone Woods.
  • In mishandling classified emails that put Americans and our allies at risk, Mrs. CLinton first said 'everybody did it' (meaning former Secretaries of State. Then she blamed Colin Powell directly. And then she blamed her staff.  The closest she's come to an admission of fault is saying it was a mistake and she wouldn't do it again.
  • And in the damning Wikileaks-released emails, she seems more put out by the fact that she was caught rather than embarrassed over the revealed improprieties like collusion with the Justice Department and 'pay-for-play' while Secretary of State.
I suppose there are more, but that's enough for me. Entrusting the future of the country to someone who's never wrong, never responsible, is something I just can't stomach. I have to face the demons of my past, and sometimes face them publicly, and I think I have the right to ask my highest temporal representative to do the same.

Donald Trump is not the best candidate we've ever seen; far from it. But he's shown a willingness to say, "I was wrong, and I'm sorry." He's said that he's learned and grown.

It really is a two-party race. While the Libertarian Gary Johnson is attractive, he can't win. (and Jill Stein of the Green Party is even further out). A vote for Johnson is a de facto vote for Clinton, and I'm not going to do that.

And that's why my vote will go to Donald Trump.


Much to my surprise, I decided to participate in a '31 Days' blogging exercise; rather than interrupt the flow of this post, I have another blog established, "Starting The Day With Grace". The focus is a grace quote from someone you might not expect (like, say Malcolm X) and a short commentary. I hope you'll join me.



Marley update...he's received a lot of support, but STILL NEEDS HELP TO BE SAVED.

WE ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE!

He's up to nearly 200,000 signatures, but the local authorities are dragging their feet. They think that we'll give up and go away. We won't.

If you have a mment, I'd like to ask you to visit Change.org to consider a petition to free a 'death row dog' who has been separated from his family for ten months over a misunderstanding. Marley was saved from Afghanistan by a US serviceman; please help make sure this story doesn't end in needless tragedy! Marley's gotten a lot of support...but he still needs our help.


If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.






40 comments:

  1. That's an interesting viewpoint, and very similar to my own. What an interesting way to use the prompt. :)

    Hugs,
    Melinda (#5 at FMF)

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    1. Thanks so much, Melinda! For some reason the prompt had been on my mind lately...and this seemed just right.

      hugs are appreciated, and need. I'm hurting.

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  2. I just watched "Hillary's America" and it shows a lot of history from both parties. According to Dinesh D'Souza's research the Democrats were behind the Trail of Tears, slavery, segregation, the KKK and more while the Republicans were completely opposed. But it's all swept under the rug. I haven't researched it myself, and I'm not happy with either candidate. I have more praying to do before I make a decision, but I may not be able to vote for either in good conscience. This is certainly a crazy election year.

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    1. Gayl, it is certainly a weird year, but in choosing to vote I try to follow the advice of the martyred Dietrich Bonhoeffer - "Not to choose is to choose."

      A moral choice is never between good and bad; it is between bad and worse, and that's what we are seeing now.

      So glad you're here!

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  3. Andrew, thanks for your candor. And for speaking truth. I think it can be too easy to justify poor choices rather than to own them and grow from them. And you're right. There are times when choices we've made can't be made to look better than they were, or be made up for. I suspect yours (that you alluded to) were higher stakes than mine. It's hard to accept God's grace for them, especially when our choices impacted someone else.

    I'm praying for you, my friend.

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    1. Jeanne, you're absolutely right. It's terribly hard to accept any kind of grace when a choice I made got someone else killed. I'm having a terrible time with this at the moment; when the judgement falls on another, as it has perhaps once too many times, it cuts your heart to bits.

      I appreciate, and need the prayers. I'm in serious trouble here.

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  4. These two parties running for presidency is something that we'll all remember down the road. Tough decisions and we're just as tough on ourselves to figure out a "good" one. Your points are agreeable. Go easy on yourself and soak up that grace!

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    1. Bonnie, you're right...this is one election year we'll remember for a long, long time.

      It may be a very good thing, because we've been forced to look at what we truly believe. Do you agree?

      I will try to go easy on myself. Honestly, it's hard. Too many memories.

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  5. Prayers that you are able to make all the amends you can. We all make mistakes and do the best we can to rectify them. Take peace in your own forgiveness of yourself. :)

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    1. Kadie, thank you so much. I'm trying to make the amends, but have to trust in the Almighty for their transcendent fulfillment. Which is, I suppose, as it should be.

      So glad you are here tonight!

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  6. It is so important to own up to our own mistakes and seek forgiveness from those we have hurt - often the pain and squirming that results in buried mistakes punishes us far more than the other party... I'm not in the thick of your elections, but I'm watching with curiosity to see which way it falls... I have friends who are passionately on either side and it seems like it is a hard time to be an American :(

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    1. Emma, you're right that the pain of a buried mistake can be far more punishing - and lasting - than what we've done to another.

      It is both a hard and simple time to be an American; Looking into the cloaca maxima of this election, there are issues that come startlingly clear. An example - under the current regime, the Veterans Administration will no longer allow Bibles in their hospitals.

      That alone would make me want to consign the legacy of Obama to history's rubbish tip.

      So glad you are here, Emma!

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  7. Andrew I do hope you can feel at peace and be kind to yourself now that you have done this owning up you speak of. I know a bit about that. I suppose many of us do.
    I hope that you can rest in knowing that you are indeed forgiven of whatever it is you speak of. I will pray that for you. Our God does deeply love you and His forgiveness is always complete and to the core of us and our situation in entirety. I hope you can soak in grace and mercy and know that it can repair. I hope you know you are loved tonight.
    I agree with your points on politics
    Blessings

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    1. Summer, your words are a soothing balm to my soul...thahnk you so much for taking the time to comment. I've been hurting badly, and you have helped.

      Blessings to you. I think your blog is wonderful.

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  8. I do understand your dilemma Andy. I hope we can all find peace; especially after all the stuff we've been through this year, let alone years past.

    My blog:
    https://awifesreflections.wordpress.com/2016/10/20/the-car-park

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    1. Kimberly, thank you so much...and yes, it would be nice to rest in both shade and a shelter from the incessant winds, and find peace.

      Loved your post this week!

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  9. Ah, yes. My fault is that I'd rather hide my head in the sand than vote for either of the candidates. I'll be doing a lot of praying in the next three weeks and I make my decision. Thank you for your honest perspective--it gives me angles of research to investigate.

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    1. I know the feeling, Anita, and I really wish that Gary Johnson was a viable candidate. But in the real and now, it comes down to two.

      Thanks for being here!

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  10. Your comments are noted and appreciated.

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    1. Thanks, BusyB...for your words and for your presence.

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  11. Thanks for writing that Andrew. You are brave! I have come to pretty much the same conclusions you have. By studying the people who know that candidate the most which are his family and close friends and observing the primary candidates and pastors who endorse him now, I have come to the conclusion that he truly has had a change of heart although he is still very rough around the edges. Any accusations of bad behavior (other than off-the-cuff remarks) are from years ago. Thanks for putting your opinions out there.

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    1. June, you said this just perfectly...that the people who know the man, and those who have decided to support him, are the best evidence of a reformed character. I'm so glad you said this!

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  12. I so appreciate your boldness in sharing your thoughts, Andrew. May we be in constant prayer for our nation as we truly may never be the same after this election.

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    1. Joanne, yes...the prayers are needed. But whatever happens, we will survive this. We got through LBJ, and through the Carter years. Not pleasant, but a learning experience.

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  13. I very much enjoyed reading your post today. However I am on the opposite side of the table. In the beginning I wanted to give Donald a chance. I do agree with other his stance on some of the issues. But I cannot , in good conscience, go to the polls and vote for him. I've had to weigh the good and the bad on both sides and he just has so much more bad, in my opinion. We need a powerful, strong President and I am far too worried about how thin his skinny n seems to be. Now, with that being said I want you to know that I respect your opinion and your RIGHT to chose.

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    1. Paula, thank you for stepping up to say this. I am also troubled about the 'thin skin', but I have the feeling that a lot of that is electioneering showmanship. A controversy keeps his name in front of the cameras, and I suspect that is a part of his strategy.

      But I may be very wrong. I hope I'm not.

      Thank you so much for being here!

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  14. Andrew, thank you for your words of support for Trump, and the reasons for that choice. I am so confused at this time, trying to read and listen to everything on either side and it's just so frustrating and confusing. I do not like how DT speaks and the things he says; and don't really like what HC says either...I agree with the Deitrich Bonhoffer quote...and will be making a choice, as others have said, with much prayer between now and the next three weeks!

    Praying you "let things go" and receive that grace; we all make mistakes...owning up to them is not easy! HUGS!!

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    1. Barbara, thank you for this...I wrote this post straight from the heart, and very, very quickly. I love this country, and my gut says that whatever DT's faults are (and they are many)...well..I have had similar faults.

      But I do own up to my errors, and so does Donald Trump...and Clinton doesn't.

      Thank you so much for the prayers, Barbara. I am trying to accept that needed grace.

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  15. Own it! Yes! Confess and move on. Don't stay parked in defeat! I have done it, oh too long and I am just now learning. God is beyond merciful! Thank you and I share your election views. Without a willing heart one will never change. FMF #28.

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    1. Mary, I love this..."God is beyond merciful". Thank you for that lovely wisdom!

      And thank you so much for being here.

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  16. thanks andrew for your comments. i will say that this has been the most miserable and difficult campaign i can ever remember...and there have been some doozies:( i know GOD will guide us in our votes. I definitely don't feel excited about mine this year of sure:( i have had to back away from the personalities and look at the the stands they are taking on some specific issues. that is how i came up with the candidate i am voting for.:( it has become a miserable mess~

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    1. Martha, you're absolutely right. It's been awful, WAY past the 'daisy' ads Johnson used against Goldwater in 1964.

      But it's a good thing, in a way. We don't have a nice personality to choose; this has to be about issues.

      Thanks so much for being here!

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  17. Both of us know what my opinion on this is and there is no point restating it again. But I find it cool that through this election, situations in your life, and your life as it is now that you want to make things right. I hope in this journey of realization that you will be blessed. I sincerely hope the best for you in this

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    1. Kristina, thank you so much or this gracious, lovely, and uplifting comment. You made my day with your heart of faith.

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  18. Thanks for your candor. I understand where you are coming from, but I just can't with Donald Trump. But that doesn't mean I can vote for Hilary either. Maybe I'll just move to Canada!

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    1. Tara, if you do choose the Canada route, take me with you...I need a health-care system that works!

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  19. Your words of frustration over the two main candidates are very much mine as well. If I had the chance, I'd write in "Do Over" on the ballot. I wrote a post about it. But, I don't have the option to write in. I have yet to decide how to vote. But, I know I haven't prayed and researched enough to go to the polls assured of my decision.
    Right before my surgery, I did a little bit of a soul inventory. Times like illness makes one all the more aware of our mortality. I am so thankful for forgiveness found in Christ. It is where I rest my faults and failings, my regrets and weakness.
    Grace and peace to you.

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    1. Cheryl, you're so right that illness and facing mortality can really bring you to the need for what you so fittingly call a soul inventory!

      And it does include, I have found, facing the responsibility of voting and a choice between candidates that are not necessarily one's first choice.

      WWJD? I have a feeling He'd be holding His nose with the rest of us, and making the decision based on issues rather than personality. And He'd be praying really hard!

      And I am praying for you, Cheryl, for a speedy recovery.

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