Your Dying Spouse 216 - The Lethal Legacy {FMF}

Time for Five Minute Friday, the timed and keyword-driven writing challenge hosted by Kate Motaung.

This week's word is TEST, but I have to write ahead once again, and will try to fit the word in.

A couple of weeks ago, my laziness and negligence killed one of my beloved dogs. I've been processing it.

'Processing'. A nice techno-geek word for self-loathing, and a sharp stab of pain every time I see her toys and bowl, gathering dust, and her empty sleeping crate.

There are lessons to learn; that God will carry His forgiveness of me while I struggle with my own.

That there is no room for down time. Duty is all, and duty is always.

And perhaps the most important, now...that I have to put this failure into a box and deal with it later.

My wife needs me 'all there'. She has a challenging career, and she has a life that does not stay in the shadow of her own death. She needs good cheer, and unqualified support. not the requirement to hand-hold me through heartbreak.

The other dogs were traumatized by what happened, and they need a stable and normal anchor in me. They need reassurance. They mourn in their own way, but it's my duty to help them through this; not their job to hold me up.

There is nothing I can do that will bring Pitunia back. No special pleading will turn back the clock, and likewise nothing will 'make it all ok'.

But it's time to turn away from sentiment and the inward focus. There will be time for that later, and I will pay the price, with interest.

My situation makes it tempting, sure, to ask for special treatment, to have the shelter of understanding where I can cry and let my wife be my strength. I'm in pain, and degraded more as the weeks go by. It's unpleasant, but in the end it's just life. You don't get a pass for this; God knows I want one. The responsibilities to those around you don't change, and I just have to meet them.

I always hated the cliche that 'life goes on', but it does. It has to.

First comes the test, then the lesson.

Much to my surprise, I decided to participate in a '31 Days' blogging exercise; rather than interrupt the flow of this post, I have another blog established, "Starting The Day With Grace". The focus is a grace quote from someone you might not expect (like, say Mick Jagger) and a short commentary. I hope you'll join me.

Marley update...he's received a lot of support, but STILL NEEDS HELP TO BE SAVED.

WE ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE!

He's up to nearly 200,000 signatures, but the local authorities are dragging their feet. They think that we'll give up and go away. We won't.

If you have a mment, I'd like to ask you to visit Change.org to consider a petition to free a 'death row dog' who has been separated from his family for ten months over a misunderstanding. Marley was saved from Afghanistan by a US serviceman; please help make sure this story doesn't end in needless tragedy! Marley's gotten a lot of support...but he still needs our help.

If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.