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Love and marriage are the greatest adventures in life, and they point they way to our relationship with the Almighty.

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Friday, April 20, 2018

Your Dying Spouse 463 - Andrew's Victory {FMF}

Andrew wrote this over the past few days...and hopes you find it of some value.

Victory does not lie in the healing of cancer.

It does not lie in staying well enough to accomplish everything on my 'bucket list'...or even a part of it.

It does not lie in reaching peace with my dying. or achieving an epiphany of Heaven.

It's a lot simpler than that.

Victory is continuing to do my best, every day and with every minute, even and especially (as now) when hope seems futile and the darkness of pain gathers me in.

Victory is living for others, because it was never about me.

Victory is facing a failed life, and knowing that it's redeemed by living for one minute...one minute...with a full and open heart.

Victory is being willing to let go of life without grasping, and being willing to fight death without hate.

The ultimate victory is that over despair, and it's one that can be experienced every day.

It doesn't require strength or stamina or learning or Scriptural knowledge, though these certainly help.

You just have to be willing to put aside everything you thought you knew, and embrace the glory and the pain, because they're inseparable. A Jewish carpenter taught me that.

It's kind of cool.

(I don't really have a bucket list...I figure that if you don't value the life you've got enough to prefer it to any 'mountaintop experiences', you're living wrong.)

Music from Chuck Mangione, with Feels So Good....hope it puts a smile on your face.

e pardon my slow response to comments. I do my best, and your comments are really precious to me.

I'm grateful for the energy to have written this. I'm so glad Barbara's stepped in. I'm really not doing well at all.

Thanks to Carol Ashby, Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart is back on Kindle, and will be available in paperback in a few days!

Friends are everything. I couldn't have done it.

Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.


And marley has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.

If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.


  1. Oh, Andrew, once again you teach us with your wisdom. You and Barb mean a lot to this Five Minute Friday community, and I'm so glad to call you a friend. May God bless and comfort and strengthen you both. {{HUGS}}

  2. Thank you, Andrew, for reminding us what really counts. A friend of mine who has also been walking with cancer says pretty much what you're saying: Living for one minute (at a time). Hugs to you and Barb.
    Minute by Minute Blessings ~ Wendy Mac

  3. Dear Mr. Victorious. You certainly practice what you preach.

  4. Have a peace-filled week ahead - with lots of simple victories!

  5. "A Jewish carpenter taught me that."

    This made me smile big. My husband tells me that his best moments with God have been out in his woodshop (really the garage that I can no longer park in). I imagine that a lot of big lessons are shared with us in the most mundane, quiet times.

  6. I've missed being on here and reading your gut-honest words, Andrew. You're victorious in every sense. Few will ever have reached it, but you have and your words echo it..praying.

  7. You've mastered the ability to find the sweetness in every bittersweet moment of life, Andrew! And we are inspired to do the same! Keep on fighting back death and we also thank Barbara for being by your side through all the pain. Praying for you both!

  8. Victory is a simple choice waiting for us to embrace it because God has already given it to us. Victory to love not hate, to be generous not stingy,...to forgive...to live in the moment with gratitude...

    Thank you for a wonderful, and deep reminder, of the simple before us all.

    Blessings to you and Barbara

  9. Embracing the glory and the pain. Andrew, I am reading this at just the right moment. A court trial, a conviction, a prodigal, a mother's broken heart, but bathed in prayer by every Christian she meets for the past 16 months tells me God makes no mistakes. It doesn't lessen the pain and at the same time it doesn't diminish the glory! I have not been focused on the writing stuff too much lately, but you are in my prayers.

  10. Praying for you and Barb. Our real victory is always IN Jesus.