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Friday, April 6, 2018

Your Dying Spouse 456 - Released To Dance

Andrew here, again cannibalizing previous blog comments to participate in Five Minute Friday, whose keyword this week is release.

This originally appeared as a comment I left on the Steve Laube Literary Agency Blog Creative Boundaries which appeared on April 3, 2018. (There are a couple of additions.)

There are some good and worthwhile things that are questionable for publication, too – because, well, who would really understand, and the reading could have the opposite effect to that which was intended.

I’ve been urged to write about my trip to death’s door; I’ve done so on my blog, but that’s a collection of life-snippets, really, with some advice for patients and caregivers that I hope is useful.

But a book? That has to cut to the meaning with the graceful Hail Mary arc of a pass into the end zone, and how can I really say that pancreatic cancer is the best worst thing that’s ever happened to me?

How can I say that the agony (and yes, it is, even as I write) has brightened my days with beauty appreciated for itself, and not for how it makes me feel?

How can I say that life is not a duality of Good Things and Horrible Things, writ boldly on opposite sides of a strip of paper whose ends are joined into a ring? Good outside, Bad inside!

I can’t, because life and death is about cutting the ring, and giving it a half-twist and taping the ends back together.

Now trace your finger over the Good, and suddenly you’ll find you’re seamlessly into the Horrible…and then, if you keep moving, back into the Good again.

You’ve created a Moebius Strip, a two-dimensional object with only one surface, and you can dive through that ring to freedom.

You've been released to dance through the light and the shade

But how can I even begin to say this?

You’ld think me half mad.

But being wholly mad, strength permitting, I'll write it.

And who better to supply the music than Abba, with Dancing Queen?

Please pardon my slow response to comments. I do my best, and your comments are really precious to me.

I'm so glad Barbara's stepped in. I'm really not doing well at all. I'll still post when I can. But writing's hard.

Thanks to Carol Ashby, Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart is back on Kindle, and will be available in paperback in a few days!

Friends are everything. I couldn't have done it.

Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.


And marley has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.

If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.


  1. So glad you're still here friend. We are going to miss you so when you are gone. Oh and you can't go wrong with Dancing Queen!

    1. Tara, thank you so much...and full agreement on Dancing Queen!

  2. I don't think you're mad. :) Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts which are always so profound and inspiring. I know it takes great effort and we who read your words appreciate it. Blessings to you and Barb! Keep writing as long as you can, because you are making a difference in people's lives.

    1. Gayl, thank you so much...your words mean so much to us! Blessings back!

  3. Just keep on dancing. And if you like that here, imagine what fun it will be in Heaven! see you there someday.

    1. Jan, I'll sure keep dancing...and looking forward to seeing you in heaven one fine day.

  4. Hard tho it be, Sweet tho it be, one dances in the moonlight. Abba, a fav.

    1. Norma, my dear friend, thank you so much for the prayers...and for the lovely image of dancing in the moonlight.

  5. Wow! So poetic and profound, Andrew! I've often felt like the harshness of life and the goodness of life are so inextricably intertwined that we can't experience one without the other. I think that's what you're saying and experiencing, right? My prayer for you is that it is the good that you feel and see more times than not, even as you must face suffering daily. Thanks for this powerful post!

    1. Beth, exactly. Life is like a snickerdoodle...you can't separate the cookie from the cinnamon any more than you can tease out the good and bad. or something like that.

      Fortunately, I like cinnamon.

      I so appreciate your prayer - and I do see the good more often than not - and I'm so grateful that you're here!

  6. It's always good to read your words, even when you are only up for sharing previous blog comments. I pray that the agony will continue to brighten your days, even through the horrible pain, for as long as you are with us.

    Dancing Queen by Abba is one of my favorite songs! Such a fun one. :)

    1. Rachel, thank you so much for being here...I truly appreciate your company. And yes, though the agony (no other reasonable wor) is deep, the days shine all the brighter.

      And Dancing Queen is one of my absolute favourites too!