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Sunday, September 25, 2016

Your Dying Spouse 211 - Abyss

Well, the 'Five Horrible Days' described in my last post culminated in something far worse, and irredeemable. I will try to describe it later, but I'm a bit too heartbroken right now...and it was preventable. It was my fault.

So, a note to caregivers. Sometimes nothing you can say can make it better.

Saying "God loves you!" does not make me stop hating myself.

Saying "God forgives you" does not make me forgive myself.

Sometimes all that's needed is your quiet presence and a hug, or a handhold.

And God, I need that now.

Marley update...he's received a lot of support, but STILL NEEDS HELP TO BE SAVED.

WE ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE!

He's up to nearly 200,000 signatures, but the local authorities are dragging their feet. They think that we'll give up and go away. We won't.

If you have a mment, I'd like to ask you to visit Change.org to consider a petition to free a 'death row dog' who has been separated from his family for ten months over a misunderstanding. Marley was saved from Afghanistan by a US serviceman; please help make sure this story doesn't end in needless tragedy! Marley's gotten a lot of support...but he still needs our help.


If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.














21 comments:

  1. Andrew,
    You don't want words so I won't offer any. Know I am praying with you though. So sorry you are heartbroken. :(
    -Tammy

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    1. Tammy, thank you. Prayers are best now. I will try to write more on what happened in hopes of helping others, but this event has wrecked something deep within me.

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  2. I've read a number of posts lately on the importance of presence as a help to the hurting. Thank you for adding your voice to the teaching that I need -- I do so love to be a fixer and an advice giver, two behaviors that are most unhelpful.

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    1. Michele, thank you for this - and you're right. There are times - like this - when fixing is impossible, and advice can only be of 'closing the barn door after the horse is gone'.

      A quiet presence and a gentle hand - sitting at the foot of the Cross - are sometimes the hard thing that's required of the caregiver.

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  3. Sitting in God's presence now with you on my heart, Andrew. I don't have to have words; he knows.

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    1. He does know, Lisa...and He knows, and has told me, that nothing this side of Heaven can ever make this better.

      I accept that.

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  4. Here with you as always! PRAYERS and HUGS to both of you!!

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    1. Barbara, I so appreciate this...your prayers and hugs and love.

      Thank you, my friend.

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  5. Today I drove by Clear Lake in Northern California, then I took a look at an old conference center in Lucerne, which is a remarkable edifice. I drove down out of the mountains into the Sacramento Valley where rice and nut harvests are in full swing. I say, I felt young again. But even as I enjoyed it, I knew that people are losing their homes around Clear Lake. Last night I met some who have neighbors whom have lost everything. One man was describing it like an apocalypse scene, melted iron and gray ash bowl keying everything. A plume of smoke met me yesterday as I entered the Clearlake area. Tragedy and beauty comingling in a place where we go to relax and enjoy delight. Then I saw another tragedy., those who are wandering the streets, the human tragedy of addiction and mental illness, young but no longer young. I thought about the problems in our country, broken homes and a culture that has accepted the lie that a drug will hide.

    In every difficulty we can find lots of bad but we can also find a glimmer of good. It is the thread of hope that winds in and out and then ties it all together. There is so much pain, as you can attest, but there are still the other things. There's the sunrise and sunset, the interactions with your wife. There are the critters who need and love you. And there is God, He may be in the shadows but He is there, nonetheless.
    Hope today is better, my friend. Still praying.

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    1. Norma, thank you for this. You have strengthened my heart tonight, with your kind and loving words.

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  6. Text Correction. "gray ash covered everything." Not sure what happened to my text.

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    1. Norma, computers have minds of their own. Little ones, and sometimes prone to mischief.

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  7. Sending hugs and prayers for you, Andrew. And for Barbara.

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    1. Jan, we do need the prayers and hugs, Thank you.

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  8. I'm praying for you, friend. And sending a very gentle hug.

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    1. Jeanne, thank you so much, so very, very much.

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  9. Andrew I'm so very sorry for your angst. I'm praying that God reminds you of His strength and ultimate grace. NOTHING can separate us from God - He promised.

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    1. Carol, thank you for this. I do know that nothing can separate us from Him, and that His capacity for forgiveness is far in excess of mine.

      It's jest been rather dark lately, and hard to see

      Thanks so much for being here.the stars.

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  10. Andrew I'm so very sorry for your angst. I'm praying that God reminds you of His strength and ultimate grace. NOTHING can separate us from God - He promised.

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  11. Agreed. This reminds me of the Bible verse, "Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on a wound, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart" (Prov. 25:20). It's almost like the person is trying to soothe themselves rather than their loved one. Praying for you, my friend!

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    1. Beth, please excuse my delayed response. The Scripture you offer is just perfect; thank you so much for this, and for your prayers.

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