Your Dying Spouse 113 - Time To Pray

What do you pray for, as a caregiver, or a terminally ill patient?

There are some "no, duh?" answers...like HEALING, NOW!

Or the boon of an easy death.

But it can be surprisingly hard to be specific...fortunately, we have a context in which we can find the specificity we need.

It's called...wait for it...The Lord's Prayer.

Let's walk through it.

Our Father, which art in Heaven...

This sets the relationship...caregiver and patient, we are God's children, and He cares...very much...what happens to us.

He's all-powerful, yes, but the relationship...and His love...do not preclude bad things happening. An earthly father has to let his children make mistakes, and sometimes, wilfully, damage their lives...and bad things can simply happen, through accident or by evil design. The only way the earthly father can prevent them is to bar the door, and prevent growth...and that's not what being a father is all about.

So too...and more so...with God, because His responsibility is to make us fit to be citizens of Heaven.

...hallowed be Thy name...

God is holy, but this is not a put-down for us, because the seeds of holiness are within us, too. We won't achieve anything like it in this life (contrary to what a certain pastor recently said about living a 'holier life than 95% of the people out there'...he fragged himself with pride, that one did).

Terminal illness can water those seeds, for caregiver and patient...if it's allowed to. Saying 'adversity builds character' is a cliche, and enough adversity can tear it down. It has for me.

But what it can help grow is intentionality...the intentionality of compassion, and endurance, and faith. Those decisions are taken in every moment, and the fires of a situation that really sucks can temper the steel of our hearts.

...Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven...

One day this world's going to pass away, and we'll wonder what all the fuss is about. His kingdom is coming...but in the meantime, His will for what's happening here is a reflection of what's happening in Heaven.

That sounds loony, doesn't it? There's so much that's simply awful in the world...how can it be the will of a merciful God?

How did He let it come to this?

Free will, that's how. We have to choose Him for our growth, as His children to have any meaning...and that means that He can't pull strings, because people don't dance to the strings...puppets do.

His will here is a reflection of Heaven because all that's terrible around us is loudly and decisively put right there...and we will know the contrast.

...give us this day our daily bread...

The Israelites wandering in their Sinai-circles got enough food for each day, and they had to trust that it would be supplied tomorrow.

Facing terminal illness, we've got to do the same thing. The coping today is enough; we can't predict what tomorrow will bring, and sometimes it's better we don't know, because now is what we really have...to care, to enjoy, to love.

...and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us...

When time is short, forgive. Your sin-debt's been paid...and even if you backslide, it's still paid, as long a you recognize it as sins and try to stay out of the cesspool.

Every marriage has areas of resentment and unforgiveness. Try to say goodbye with as many of those dark corners lit up by the lights of forgiveness and love. You'll regret it if you don't, and be very glad if you do.

...and lead us not into temptation...

There are huge temptations when facing death-by-illness. Both caregiver and patient are tempted to bitterness, anger, resentment...often against God.

The emotions are natural, but they're still harmful, and they come from the worst part of our being.

Even when it hurts, we've got to fight them...and we've got to look Up while fighting, to have some sort of idea of what we want to be.

...but deliver us from evil...

Evil can come in some pretty unpleasant forms, for both caregiver and patient.

For the patient, it can mean acting out in anger against the person who's closest...the caregiving spouse, out of a sense of entitlement to 'vent'.

Sure, we can vent...but we're not entitled to hurt.

Temptation may be there.

Evil is acting on it.

...Amen.

And that's how you pray, when your world is slowly falling apart.

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