Well, today I really am too ill to write much of a post. An internal abscess burst, with unpleasant consequences. Still here (no duh!) but in a lot of pain, and very shaky.
I don't resent it, though, and that is what many people - including my wife - find a bit hard to understand.
I figure that in a fallen world, there's going to be bad stuff (you can intensify 'stuff') happening, and I'm glad it's happening to me and not someone else.
There's no nobility or desire for martyrdom (or victimhood) in it. It's just that I can take it.
Well, so far, anyway.
There is a famous old inscriptions that seems to fit -
Go tell the Spartans,
stranger passing by,
that here, obedient to their laws,
we lie.
Also ran across a poem by Andre Zirnheld -
Give me, God, what no one else asks for;
I ask not for wealth, or for success or health;
people ask you so often for all that,
that you cannot have any left.
Give me what people refuse to accept from you.
I want insecurity and disquietude,
I want turmoil and the brawl.
If you should give them to me,
let me be sure to have them always,
for I will not always have the courage to ask for them.
Death comes to all, and we can only escape it for a ew seasons.
Best to play the gentleman, and meet it with equanimity.
Because death is only the beginning of a life that we can't even imagine, a life thatwill never see a sunset. I believe that.
If you can.please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.
Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links (they're 99 cents each). And if you'd like a free PDF, please email me at tempusfugit02 (at) gmail (dot) com, and I'll gladly send them
Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links (they're 99 cents each). And if you'd like a free PDF, please email me at tempusfugit02 (at) gmail (dot) com, and I'll gladly send them
Marie, thank you so much. Your being here means more than you know. I'm in bad, bad trouble.
ReplyDeletePrayers so appreciated.
Because death is only the beginning of a life that we can't even imagine, a life thatwill never see a sunset. --> this is so comforting and so true. I love your spirit. Praying that you may find comfort.
ReplyDeleteLux, thank you for being here...there is comfort in the small things, like a bird perched on the fence...and in the big things, the love of my friends.
DeleteI so appreciate the prayers. These are hard, hard days.
Thank you so much for sharing this on Coffee & Conversation, Andrew. You're always one of the first to post...and I'm always glad to see Sylvia's picture :-)
ReplyDeleteContinuing to lift you and Barbara in prayer for comfort and strength...
Pat, thank you, and I told Sylvia...she's wagging her tail furiously (and just knocked over Ladron the Heeler with it, as Ladron passed incautiously by).
DeleteThank you so much for the prayers. Things are really painful right now, and I've lost a bunch of ground. They are definitely needed.
Inspiring perspective that few project in such difficult circumstances. encouragement for me as I face difficult days ahead with my parents. May you rest in the "shelter beneath His wings."
ReplyDeleteI do feel that shelter, Karen...and I am praying for you, and for your parents.
DeleteThank you so much for being here. I hope you'll stop by again, as time permits?
Because death is only the beginning of a life without sunset. Love this friend! Part of me is almost jealous that your nearer that beautiful place with Jesus where there is no pain or sorrow. As my Uncle said before his death last year, it's a win! Continued prayers. For you and Barbara.
ReplyDeleteIt is a win, Christy! I loved the way you put this - you gave me a lift.
DeleteAnd we both thank you so much for the prayers. They are needed.
Your words remind me of an ancient Celtic prayers that I love.
ReplyDeleteGod with me lying down,
God with me rising up,
God with me in each ray of light,
Nor I a ray of joy without him,
Nor one ray without him.
Christ with me sleeping,
Christ with me waking,
Christ with me watching,
Every day and night,
Each day and night.
God with me protecting,
The Lord with me directing,
The Spirit with me strengthening,
Forever and forevermore,
Ever and evermore, Amen.
Chief of chiefs, Amen.
May it bless you, Andrew.
June, I LOVE this! Thank you so much!
DeleteYour wisdom will be here after you're gone and probably help lots of us in the future.
ReplyDeleteJan, thank you...it's hard for me to think of being 'not here'...the places where I live now absent my presence...but the pain is lessened by trying to reach out. Hard lesson, but worthwhile.
DeleteI have learned from you, my friend. Great grace.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Norma...and some of the lessons I have lately learned, and written...they have been inspired by your writing.
DeleteI'm always glad to see you here and yet I wonder if that's selfish. Please keep writing Andrew, I dread the day I visit here and find you've moved. xo Love and prayers for Barbara.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to find me here too, Susan! We're both selfish!
DeleteTruth is, having this job, I don't want to go, and my doctor says that he figures that God is doing some Energizer Bunny magic on me. Pain with purpose is more easily borne...and I want to bear it.
Thank you so much for the prayers - Barbara does appreciate the tremendous support! (And so do I!)
I'm so sorry that you continue to struggle, Andrew. I always pray that God would bring some easing of the pain, but at least for today, it seems it is unrelenting for you. I have to say that you accept your plight so well, my friend. It encourages me to buck up in certain areas that are painful in my life as well. Thanks for always being an encourager, my friend!
ReplyDeleteBeth, my prayers are with you...you are such a wonderful person, and a wonderful friend...I am distressed that anything could be causing you grief.
DeleteIt has been unrelenting, and each day seems worse than the one before, but since there's a purpose to which it's being put...I can deal with it. It may make the replies slower in coming, but I intend to be here to the very end.
"I'm glad it's happening to me and not someone else" Andrew, I can soooo relate to this!! Years ago - almost 20 - when I was working as secretary at a church, we had a lot of elderly members, including the interim minister who was almost 80! One afternoon I opened the door to a man asking for a hand-out, only to have a gun pointed at me and he proceeded to beat me with the butt of the gun...I prayed that none of the other elderly members or the minister didn't walk into the room; and was glad it was me instead of any of them...I was much better able to withstand what he did to me...I survived! And I totally understand what you are saying about your being in the place you are rather than anyone else.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry you are having these issues; and the strength that you do not have. Praying for your comfort my friend; and for the strength to continue as you can. Praying also for Barb and her perseverence and also the comfort and strength...hang in there my friend; your Home awaits you, but apparently your Master is not yet ready to release you...{{HUGS}} to both of you!!
Oh, Barbara! I'm just glad you survived! I would have HATED not knowing you (and somehow, I think there would have been a hole in my heart, even not knowing you, that only you could have filled...does that makes sense?).
DeleteWe so appreciate the prayers and hugs. The past few days have been beyond rough.
Andrew, this makes me tear up even more that you would have an empty hole if you had not known me...God DID save me that day (and many other times when an accident was sure to occur but didn't). I am honored to be counted among your friends and followers and continue to pray for you both!
DeleteAnd I, Barbara, am honoured to be your friend. You've blessed me more than you may realize.
DeleteAndrew, for you--these marvelous words from David's Song of Praise in II Samuel 22 ...
ReplyDelete"The waves of death swirled about me, the cords of destruction confronted me. In my distress, I called ... he heard my voice ... He parted the heavens and came down ... He reached down from on high and took hold of m; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me ... He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me ..."
Yes, O mighty man, he delights in you.
And we, the watching ones, are only aware of your struggle. As you have acquitted yourself, you strengthen us for the day when the torrents of destruction threaten us as it does, each one, in our time.
Brick, I'm sorry for the late reply...but thank you so much for the Scripture! It means so very much to me, for its own sake, and for the time you took to write it. I'm truly grateful.
DeleteAndrew, for you--these marvelous words from David's Song of Praise in II Samuel 22 ...
ReplyDelete"The waves of death swirled about me, the cords of destruction confronted me. In my distress, I called ... he heard my voice ... He parted the heavens and came down ... He reached down from on high and took hold of m; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me ... He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me ..."
Yes, O mighty man, he delights in you.
And we, the watching ones, are only aware of your struggle. As you have acquitted yourself, you strengthen us for the day when the torrents of destruction threaten us as it does, each one, in our time.
Andrew, Your words are powerful. I'm sure you don't realize the impact they have on your readers. Your physical struggle is intense in a way I can't even begin to relate to - and yet, your words are so relatable. You inspire courage, and faith, and honesty. Thank you, thank you. Praying for God's grace to continue to pour out on you and your wife.
ReplyDeleteLisa, please accept my apologies for the delayed reply...and my thanks for your kind words. I really don't know what to say, but, again...thank you.
DeleteWe so appreciate the prayers. They are needed, very much.
Bless you.
ReplyDeleteSue, thank you so much!
Delete"I'm glad it's happening to me and not someone else."
ReplyDeleteYou are a special person my friend. Continuing to pray, even while words fail me.
Paul, thank you so much...I could not imagine wishing this (and days like the last 48 hours) on anyone else. If it has to be made manifest, I'll take it. I could never pass this on to another.
Delete