Some marriages, though they endure, aren't so great, and contrary to movies and books, the stresses of a terminal illness can drive a couple further apart rather than bringing them closer together.
Under circumstances like these, resentment of the terminally ill husband or wife is almost guaranteed to surface...the healthy partner is carrying resentment anyway, and begins to dislike the 'offending' spouse for being sick.
Sounds pretty bad when you read it, eh? Unfair?
It's natural, and trying to deny that these feelings arise is like trying to keep smioke from passing through a screen door.
The saving grace that we all have is the freedom to choose our behaviour, no matter how we feel. We're not forced to say anything, or to react with body language that says, "I'm annoyed!"
It's far easier said than done, though, but it's a lot harder if you don't acknowledge the negative feelings, because then you're fighting any enemy you can't see, and whose existence you deny.
And yes, those feeling are the enemy, because when you married the man or woman with whom things "just didn't work out as we'd hoped", you took a vow. You made a promise.
And therein lies the road through this difficult experience. You may not feel good about negative thoughts, but you can feel good about keeping a promise.
Part of that promise is to be there.
Dying is a very lonely business. Your circle shrinks from work to church to friends to just family and marriage, and there will come a time when your company is the most important thing in your spouse's life.
Tat's what "till death do us part" is for.
If you can keep that part of the vow when your natural inclination is to wish you were somewhere else, you'll be doing a far greater kindness than you can realize.
To your mate, and to yourself.
Your comments are very valuable to me; my situation has deteriorated a bit, and answering them quickly is hard, but I still aim to answer all comments...please bear with me through this?