Why we're here...

Love and marriage are the greatest adventures in life, and they point they way to our relationship with the Almighty.

We're honored to be a member of the Christian Marriage Bloggers Association...click on their logo to visit them.


Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Your Dying Spouse 84 - My Miracle

We're linked up with Messy Marriage's Wedded Wednesday; please visit them to find some awesome marriage resources!

In this difficult passage, and in these particularly tough weeks, I've found my miracle. I really had it all along.

It's this - I want to live, and I am living.

Fully, and the best way I can.

The miracle comes with the somewhat surprising understanding that I'm OK with this, with the process of being terminally ill.

There are many things I won't get to do, sure. But life's like that anyway.

I expected to resent this, knowing that I would one day face the situation squarely. Hey, I can do denial with the best of 'em!

But the thing is, life really isn't about plans and dreams. Life isn't about tomorrow. It's about now, because now is all we ever have.

There is a clarity here, and each moment has become precious. When I kiss barbara goodbye in the morning, I do it with more care - it's no longer a perfunctory see-you-later peck. Nor is it a passionate let's have-sex-tonight smootch.

It's far more than the former, and far more than the latter. It's this -

I appreciate you, and I love you, and I will look forward to seeing you tonight, when you return.

Barbara isn't used to it yet. I still get some pretty puzzled looks.

When I have a cigar, enjoyed with a good book, to hasten the absorption of pain meds, I enjoy every puff. Whether it's a cheap one, or a premium...I don't have to pretend to myself that "well, it's medicine"...I like the taste.

I like Barbara better than cheap cigars, yer. Now when compared to good ones, well...

I can look at the dogs and really see them, really spend time with them. I'm not looking past their eyes to my writing, or my career (when I had one), or to the aeroplane parts I can now rarely touch.

I am there for them, in the moment.

Abd so it can be, dear caregiver, for you. There will come a moment, I hope, when you know that it's not about the battle, not about the things that will only get worse, and not about what -will-I-do-when-it's-over?

It's about taking every moment youhave together as a gift, and taking every moment you have, yourself, the same way.

Dreams are nice, and plans are necessary; I still have them. But whatever happens, it's OK, because it isn;t the goal that's important.

It's the path, and the person with whom we've chosen to share it.

Your miracle walks with you everyday, and it's constantly renewed. You haven't missed it.

You just have to take it into your hands, and your heart.


  1. I love the description of your miracle but also how you lead us to see that we each have our own miracles. These words are ones that I will carry with me as my own reminder of the what miracles are... "Your miracle walks with you everyday, and it's constantly renewed. You haven't missed it.
    You just have to take it into your hands, and your heart.

    Thank you, Andrew. Prayers and blessings along the way!

  2. There's an area of my life where I am waiting on something to happen (not my marriage, by the way!) and it is stealing my joy. Your words here have convicted me, Andrew. I know that I must enjoy this present moment because there is SO MUCH to be grateful. I also realize that I'm missing out on this present moment by focusing on what I want in the future. Thanks for your help in guiding my heart today, my friend!

  3. Thank you, Andrew for this reminder to enjoy and treasure what and who we have right now. My kisses for my husband will have more in them from this day forward! Thank you for allowing your story to minister to others.

  4. Oh Andrew,
    what an uplifting post. It's not even Thanksgiving and you're pouring out thankfulness. Truly, this is one of your best. Praying strength (and less pain and throwing-up all around) for you.

  5. Living in the moment, appreciating the gift it is, not rushing ahead to the next experience ... life lessons worth embracing.

    Thanks for taking us there, Andrew.

  6. There are some things that we all share in common. The miracle is one of them. Touching words, Andrew, thank you.

  7. You have a way of piercing right to the core of my soul with your words, Andrew! I know your words touch many; yet, when I read them...I feel as if God has put just those particular words in your head to use on your blog so that I would read them...

    "It's about taking every moment youhave together as a gift, and taking every moment you have, yourself, the same way." My guest post for Barbie Swihart the other day is titled "Caregiving is a Gift"; and I need to pray fervently for more strength and patience so I can actually live that way!!!

    Thank you for your words, Andrew; continue to kiss that loving woman each morning (and as often as you can); and prayers continue for you both!!

  8. Thankful for this reminder. Thankful God allowed you to bring it to us! And thankful you were strong enough to do so. :)