This will be a short essay; the weekend was hellish, and I've been considerably weakened.
But I'm not dead, and life goes on, in whatever form it can take.
Cancer, you see, is not a death sentence. The death sentence is implicit in our birth into this world. Illness merely sharpens the focus.
And yes, it's uncomfortable, and painful, and often embarrassing, but it's our own choice - to a large degree - to accept those as the main influences on our outlook.
I'm certainly not talking about the I'm walking hand-in-hand-with-Jesus paradigm being proof against pain, though I don't denigrate it. It works for many, and I believe it represents the Truth of Creation...but though I feel His presence, I don't feel it that way.
Wish I did.
Instead I take comfort in the mundane, the tasks that have to be accomplished, well or badly, every day. They represent the continuity of the life of which I so long to remain an active part, for as long as I can.
Life goes on. I want to, as well.
Please pardon the delays that are becoming a feature of my replies to comments - your comments are immensely valuable to me, and I truly appreciate them...but writing is hard now, as are most things, and I simply can't get it done as fast as I would like.
I'd also like to mention, again, two new short ebooks.
The first is "Faith in the Night", which describes why, in the face of a life that has largely fallen apart, I still have faith, and still feel loved by God...and why I still want to live.
The second is a Christmas story, "Angela - A New Mexico Christmas". It's about a boy, his grandfather, and the cow that saves their lives in a blizzard...but she's part of a beef herd, and can the rescued become the rescuers?
If you'd like one or both, you can email me (tempusfugit02(at) gmail (dot) com) for a PDF, or click on the covers to go to the Amazon Kindle pages. They's both 99 cents.
I am praying for you, Andrew.
ReplyDeleteLynette
Interesting post over at Blessed but Stressed, Andrew. I was actually surprised at how much I could relate to what you shared. It's given me quite a lot to ponder. This week I'm praying for you to be focused. I'm guessing that becomes pretty difficult when the pain increases. Not sure what your holiday will look like, but pray it is blessed.
ReplyDeleteThe Lord bless you and keep you. May His face smile upon you. My prayer for you.
ReplyDeleteYou are one strong person.
ReplyDeleteI hope you find comfort in God's presence.
Yes, Andrew, life does go on; and so glad you want to go on, and you are persevering to the best of your ability in the situation you are in...I pray if I find myself in the throes of an illness such as yours - or worse or not as bad - that I have the faith that you share with your readiers, your wife, everyone on a daily basis...you ARE strong and I continue to pray for you and Barbara.
ReplyDelete