Your Dying Spouse 88 - Tabula Rasa {FMF}

Time for Five Minute Friday, the keyword-inspired timed writing challenge hosted by Kate Motaung. We are also linked with Wedded Wednesday.

The word this week is...wait for it...TABLE.

Well, OK.

Execute, execute, execute.

I'm going to cheat a little bit, and use tabula rasa.

Clean slate.

That's what dying gives you, a clean slate...and, ironically, a fresh start.

Today is Thanksgiving Day in the USA, and if you have the television on, it's a day of highly hyped consumerism and a celebration of popular culture.

I was a part of that word, once upon a time, but I've been given a clean slate.

I can see past it now, to things that really last (and don''t worry, I'm not going to go all religious on you...y'all know me well enough to know that I keep that stuff pretty private).

I spent the day looking for lessons...yes, I can still apply them...and values.

I found some in Six Days Of War, Michael Oren's narrative of the 1967 Six-Day War between Israel and it neighbours in 1967.

It's really a tragedy...entire countries riding the tiger of bigotry and pride to an end which got a lot of people killed.

A mirror of my own life, in a way, and my own marriage.

How many arguments came from pride? How many times did Barbara and I go to bed angry because I did not want to be wrong?

Too many. Far too many.

How many were the 'positions' from which I would not back down?

Lots.

And the funny thing i that I cannot remember the positions, nor the reasons for pride.

I only remember the hurt it caused, because it planted the seeds of reticence and caution that exists in our relationship to this day.

But the slate has been wiped clean. I don't mean that the past has been erased...nothing will undo the hurt, not now.

But I can see thatt he reasons that I inflicted the hurt were meaningless. My pride, and my presumed rectitude...counted for nothing.

Human dynamics are whatthey are, and Barbara isn;t dying. Issues still arise.

But it's easier to let them go, because I know not - late, but not too late, that the love is more important than 'psoition', and that peace is more important than any point I could possibly make.

Ended.

Please comment, if you are of a mind to do so...I am still working through replying to the comments from last week...writing and thinking are getting harder, but your comments mean more to me now than ever.

I need you guys.

There's another ebook that is now live on Kindle..."PTSD And The Holidays - Helping The Veteran You Love". If you'd like a copy, please either click on the cover to go to Amazon or email me at tempusfugit02 (at) gmail (dot) com and I'll send a PDF. It;'s short, but if you're dealing with PTSD, it may help.

I'd also like to mention, again, the other two new short ebooks.

The first is "Faith in the Night", which describes why, in the face of a life that has largely fallen apart, I still have faith, and still feel loved by God...and why I still want to live.

The second is a Christmas story, "Angela - A New Mexico Christmas". It's about a boy, his grandfather, and the cow that saves their lives in a blizzard...but she's part of a beef herd, and can the rescued become the rescuers?

If you'd like one or both, you can email me (tempusfugit02(at) gmail (dot) com) for a PDF, or click on the covers to go to the Amazon Kindle pages. They's both 99 cents.