I had the chance to go Home this morning.
Wasn't feeling terrible, but suddenly everything got distant and the ceiling opened with a bright golden light that drew me up. It was all so peaceful and wonderful. There was the truth there, if no need for fear. I was going Home.
And I decided against it. I had freedom of choice, and I chose to stay.
It's not over yet. Dogs and cats to care for, people to help, and most important, a dear wife to support with everything I have.
Don't regret it, but the decision broke my heart.
The ceiling just dissolved away,
and I saw the golden light
that said I need no longer stay,
and could cease my fight.
I was drawn up to that peace
that I had never understood,
and I reached out for sweet release
as God knew that I would.
But then I heard the quiet call
of my obligation.
I let my hand, and heart, too, fall,
and said, 'This is my station,
and I'll pursue my war right here
for everything that I hold dear.'
Music from John Michael Talbot, with Be Not Afraid
Sylvia's only fear is that the McDonald's soft serve ice cream machine breaks.
God had a plan today. We followed it to end of day. Now rest in His Peace and protection for another day. -Barbara
ReplyDeleteWe talk about how much we want to be released from this life, and then, change our mind because we love people more than our desire to leave them. Go through it all the time. I am grateful you are still here but I pray for your challenges and trials. Mary here
ReplyDeleteYou have a big heart full of love Andrew. Wimp that I am, if I were in your shoes, I'm not sure I could have made that choice. But then it's hard to really know for sure what we would do until we're actually in the moment.
ReplyDeleteP.S. wishing you and Barb a very blessed and beautiful Christmas.
ReplyDelete