Not because I was afraid of bunring myself, or of blowing myself into small pieces through mishandling the gas bottles.
I was afraid I couldn't do it any more.
So, last week, I jut 'surprised' the situation, ent own to the shop, and started welding some bits I had prepared weeks ago.
And it went well. It took a few minutes to find the rhythm, but my hands were steady, and it was as if I'd never left.
I guess the moral is that fear prevents you from doing things, a lot more than reality ever does.
Yes, I burned myself.
No, I didn't blow up, but the hoses gave up the ghost the next day, leaking, and I could have made a sudden entrance into God's presence.
Just last week I burned my hard
to the very painful third degree.
But dear friend, please understand,
this was not loss, but victory.
I'd thought my welding days were done
and that I'd fabricate no more.
A lengthy race at last was run,
the closing of a dream-filled door.
But still my hand was sure and steady,
and while the contretemps brought pain
the shining bead proclaimed me ready
to burn hard steel in hope again.
Determination therefore renders
one small space of No Surrender.
The burn is shown in the pictures below; it's not large but the pain is really exquisite. It is serving a purpose; Carol Ashby regularly subjects the characters of her Light Of The Empire novels, set in ancient Rome, to some really dreaful occurances, and I've given her a running commentary so that she may one day write some unortunate and clumsy blacksmith.
Music from Shrek 2, with Donkey singing Disco Inferno (with Spanish subtitles).
Thanks to Carol Ashby, Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart is back on Kindle, and will be available in paperback soon.
Friends are everything. I couldn't have done it.
Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.