There are mindbending spasms in the pancreas, worse than anything to which I can compare them, anything I can describe.
Death is coming, and I do not want to die.
Does all this have a purpose? Is there a meaning to something that feels like I am the plaything for demons?
And the answer...YES.
All the health and wealth preaching, all the prosperity gospel ..they don't address the Passion.
And it's the Passion to which we're called. The Passion is the core of our faith.
Once more, into the breach...once more, into the arena...
Once more, to the Cross.
My Cross. The Cross is the burden, the hope, and the promise. (And promise is the Five Minute riday writingprompt this week.)
Come and see your show of shows,
step up, and take a seat.
Come watch a man take vicious blows
from which he can't retreat.
Come now and taste the paradise,
the nectar of the strong
sip it once, and sip it twice
to feel that you belong.
Come and hear the bloody sand
under feet all sandal-shod;
hear, taste and see, and understand
life offered up to God.
Come learn from this, then kneel and pray
that you won't be in that ring one day.
Music from The Seekers, with I'll Never Find ANother You.
Thanks to Carol Ashby, Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart is back on Kindle, and will be available in paperback soon.
Friends are everything. I couldn't have done it.
Marley, the canine waif from Afghanistan, whom WE helped save, has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.
Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.
wow. just wow. thank you.
ReplyDeleteThank YOU, Jane. You are in our hearts, and in our prayers.
DeleteAndrew, do you know the song, "All I Have Is Christ"? Your title of the post reminded me of it. I'm going to send 2 links, one with video and one with just lyrics. I pray that it will encourage you during these hard days and nights.
ReplyDeleteLove to you and your dear Barb,
Kathryn
https://youtu.be/V0vfz5lr37g
https://youtu.be/ugGucoYMmKg
Kathryn, I don't know this song, and thank you so much for the links.
DeleteIn the end He's all I have, and now, as everything is falling to bits, I really truly know it.
And I sense His amused, loving smile.
Love back, from both of us!
focus on the cross. indeed that's what we need. Focus on the cross.
ReplyDeleteAnnette, yes...at the end, it's the Way. The only Way.
DeleteAndrew, you share the meaning in your suffering, your hope in the eternal glory. May there be moments of sweetness in this. May Christ carry you through. May Barbara be comforted and strengthened. May you know the peace that passes all understanding. May your life be a sacrifice of joy. To God be the glory. You are a friend to me, and to many. God be with you, bless you, and keep you.
ReplyDeleteMy dear Norma, I am so moved by your wors, and your riendship...you are truly a blessing in my life.
DeletePlease keep up the prayers for Bar. It's harder on her than it is on me.
Come and see! Always praying friend!
ReplyDeleteTara, I value your prayers so much!
DeleteWow, that is really profound. I am in awe of the strength and trust and focus you show in the midst of all of this. Praying for you! Katha
ReplyDeleteKatha, I am just so very, very grateful or your kind and loving affirmation, and for your presence here.
DeleteBeautiful and profound, as always! Thank you for sharing your insights in the midst of all this, Andrew! Praying for you.
ReplyDeleteLesley, thank you so much for your prayers...and for being here.
DeleteMay these weekend hours have brought you pockets of relief and joy ...
ReplyDeleteLinda, the one thing I have learned, the most important thing, is that joy is intentional.
DeleteAnd it lives here.
Andrew,
ReplyDeleteI started following your blog a few years ago when I saw you comment on posts at mundanefaithfulness.com. Your words are an inspiration to others as you walk a difficult path. I sense that you have more peace now.
A few weeks ago, I heard the song 'I'll Be On My Way' by Shawn Kirchner - here is a performance of it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gga0H7R-hQg. Since you like songs, I wanted to share it with you. I thought of you when I heard it; although we haven't met, I can imagine you joyously proclaiming that you'll be on your way when the time comes, as it will for us all.
~KB
KB, thank you so much for the link1 It's now on my mental playlist.
DeleteAnd you're right; though the fight has gotten much, much harder, there is more peace.
Odd, that, yeah?
Oh, how I hate to hear the pain you are in, brother! Praying for you and Barb! xoxo
ReplyDeleteKarrilee, thank you so much for this...the pain passes, but the beauty, and the love remain.
DeleteYour poetry just blows my mind, Andrew! You have an incredible gift that only now seems to be flowing from you out of this ordeal. I guess there are many good gifts God gives us as we walk through the valley of death and trials. Praying for you, dear friend, to keep up your "passion" and perseverance through yours!
ReplyDeleteBeth, wow...thank you so much for this!
DeleteAnd I thank you especially for your prayers. It's really getting rough.
May Christ carry you through. Norma’s prayers above are my prayers for you as well, Andrew – my brother whom I will someday meet. I think the expression on God’s face is endearment as He looks on you and helps you through your suffering. And the “amused smile” on His face is more His eagerness to welcome you to pain-free restoration and fullness of life beyond what you can imagine. “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints,” (Psalm 116:15) is because He knows what a gift awaits them: utter rest, congruity of who you are with where and how you were created to live – in His presence and in fullness of joy. He is pleased that you will know it fully like you, along with all of us, have longed for all our lives. It is tough to leave though. I will pray also for Barbara. Know that God will take care of her. She will grieve the great loss of you, but God take care of her and carry her through as well. He has given you both what sounds like a great support system, and I am grateful for that. God bless you, brother. I pray for you. I’m so sorry for your pain. I’m grateful for the growing peace you’ve mentioned. May God give you more blessings each day as you lean on Him.
ReplyDeleteJudi, thank you so much for this lovely, heartfelt and thoughtful comment...and the Scripture really speaks to my heart.
DeleteWe're so very grateful for your prayers. the bad is ramping up...but so is the peace.
Andrew, Though I've been absent from FMF lately you and your dear wife have not left my prayers. Yes, you are in the arena displaying God-empowered, gladiatorial strength and perseverance every day. You, even in this time of your life, are an encourager! God bless you!
ReplyDeleteSuzette, it's so good to see you! Thank you so much for this lovely, loving affirmation, and most especially for your prayers.
Delete