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Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Your Dying Spouse 479 - Not Very Good At Sad

They say I'm supposed to be depressed, and moving toward having heaven on my mind...transitioning the last two stages of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross' 'stages of dying'.

I'm supposed to be sad that there won't be a 'me' in my world, sometime soon.

Everything hurts, food doesn't taste right (or, often, stay down), and I can't draw a full breath.

I'm supposed to...aw, heck. I've got to stop. Can't keep a straight face.

I'm a total flop at being depressed. I just can't hang on to a blue mood without thinking of a really stupid joke.

Like this...What was Jesus' signature karate move?

Lamb chops!

Or...if Protestants didn't show up until Martin Luther and the Reformation, how could John have been a Baptist?

And it's good to know that Jesus and the Apostles had a big hairy dog following them around, for who hasn't heard of St. John's Newfoundland?

Or...what music did God play when Adam and Eve had a kid?


Geddit? (I told Barb that last one when she came home from work yesterday, and she said, "I'll bet it took you all day to think of that.")

Now, this all may be a character flaw...people around me who are genuinely sad see me as a bit unsympathetic, a bit heartless toward their sorrow.

I should deny that, and come up with a well-reasoned explanation as to why humour is the best bulwark against sorrow, and why...

Wait, want to hear another one?

Why did the cannibal work so hard?

He wanted to get ahead.

I sure hope God's got a sense of humour. Otherwise, I'm toast.

Burnt toast.

And if I'm bad at being depressed, I'm a total fail at being resigned, but more of that anon.

Over to Daniel Boone with Beautiful Sunday. Remember?

Please pardon my slow response to comments. I do my best, and your comments are really precious to me. Barb is answering many of them now. I'm running on fumes, if you don't mind a macho metaphor.

I'm grateful for the energy to have written this. I'm so glad Barbara's stepped in for many of my posts. I'm really not doing well at all.

Thanks to Carol Ashby, Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart is back on Kindle, and will be available in paperback soon.

Friends are everything. I couldn't have done it.

Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.


And marley has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.

If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.


  1. Thank you. I actually laughed. And, I did get the musical when Adam & Eve had their first. I even got all the jokes. But damn it, I still get sad that you're sick. xoxoxo

    1. Susan, I'm so glad you enjoyed this! I had fun putting it together.



  2. Loved the jokes! My dad always told Bible jokes, like "What sport did Joseph play? Tennis, because the Bible says Joseph served in Pharaoh's court." Ba-dum-bum. My favorite stupid joke is: Two cannibals are eating a clown, and one turns to the other and says, "Does this taste funny to you?"

    May we never lose our sense of humor! God certainly has one. Many blessings to you and your wife today, Andrew! And much, much comfort.

  3. Thanks for the fun post! When you get to Heaven you'll have all the angels laughing.

  4. Andrew, thank you! Here is one...Why won't cannibals eat clowns? They taste funny. Something I wrote a few years ago,,"Tears release the toxins but laughter cleanses the palate." God bless you!

  5. Haha! Thank you for the smiles and laughter today. And thank you for your example of how to live well and die well and do so with joy. I think God does have a sense of humor, and He created you with a sense of humor too. So glad to know you. Praying for you today.

  6. Bahahahaha! I'm with you... I reeeeeeally hope God has a sense of humor... or at least understands our human humor.

    Can you imagine the heavenly jokes HE could tell us when we get there?!

    *appause and foot-stomping*