I get to do my end-of-life review through dreams. It's not fun.
Sleep comes very hard; there is no position I can tolerate for more than a few minutes, so about 10-15 minutes of a restless doze is all I get at one time, and it's enough, unfortunately, for what dreams may come. (Remember the movie of that name?)
And come they do. I am being led through my past, in no particular chronology, to see here I might have done better. Waking comes with a sense of loss, and a strong sense of failure, most of the time.
Not always. Sometimes I get to dream about flying. Those are good.
I've never been a believer in 'dream interpretation', and I'm still not convinced in hidden meanings.
It's more God saying, "Look, boyo, this is where you really screwed up, and I need you to focus. Not to do better, but to understand that self-satisfaction isn't something you can carry into Heaven."
It's hard, but I have to believe He's right. I'm afraid to sleep, because what I find in dreams will be worse than the constant pain, but no one ever said that the road to heaven was easy.
I'll face the demons. He's at my side.
God's a pretty good bodyguard.
Music from Heart, with These Dreams.
Please pardon my slow response to comments. I do my best, and your comments are really precious to me. Barb is answering many of them now. I'm running on fumes, if you don't mind a macho metaphor.
I'm grateful for the energy to have written this. I'm so glad Barbara's stepped in for many of my posts. I'm really not doing well at all.
Thanks to Carol Ashby, Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart is back on Kindle, and will be available in paperback soon.
Friends are everything. I couldn't have done it.
Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.
If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.
Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.