And I turned away from the light, and embraced the knife-thrust of each breath with all my strength, to return to the desolate pain of pain in the dark before the dawn.
And I'm still here, with the closing lines of Nessun Dorma in my head.
It ill be time to go, quite soon. Three near-death events in three weeks isn't subtle.
But not today.
Dilegua, o notte!
Tramontate, stelle!
Tramontate, stelle!
All'alba vincerò!
Vincerò! Vincerò!
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Vanish, o night!
Fade, you stars!
Fade, you stars!
At dawn, I will win!
I will win! I will win!
Please pardon my slow response to comments. I do my best, and your comments are really precious to me. Barb is answering many of them now. I'm running on fumes, if you don't mind a macho metaphor.
I'm grateful for the energy to have written this. I'm so glad Barbara's stepped in for many of my posts. I'm really not doing well at all.
Thanks to Carol Ashby, Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart is back on Kindle, and will be available in paperback soon.
Friends are everything. I couldn't have done it.
Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.
WE MADE A DIFFERENCE!
And Marley has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.
If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.
Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.
Oh, Andrew, you bring tears to my eyes. You are such a fighter and such an inspiration to all of us. I pray for comfort, strength and peace, dear brother. Love and hugs to you and Barb!
ReplyDeleteGayl, thank you so much for this, for your prayers and your friendship. We truly appreciate you - love and hugs back, from us both.
DeleteHonestly, death doesn't scare me in the least. But I do have some fear of the process of dying, the pain and frustration involved. I pray that you will be comforted. May God be with you fully in every moment.
ReplyDeleteJ, that's exactly my dread, the process. The frustration isn't as bad as I thought it might be, since the struggle each day is pretty absorbing, but the pain can get unreal.
DeleteThank you so much for your prayers, and your presence - and God is indeed here.
I don't know how you keep up the fight, Andrew! But we are so glad that you do! Prayers are being lifted each day on your and Barbara's behalf! I hope you feel the comfort and strength God sends your way!
ReplyDeleteBeth, sometimes I don't know ho I keep going, either. It can literally bem take the next breath, however much it hurts.
DeleteWe so appreciate the prayers, and God is truly beside us.
Andrew, you've become a dear friend to many of us. What words of wisdom would you wish us to embrace now that the light of the next world grows brighter?
ReplyDeleteNorma, my dear friend, I've so appreciated the chance to come to know you.
DeleteThe only words of wisdom of which I can think right now are these...the Earth is blessed with a sunrise, renewed every day, but we have something WAY better.
A Son-Rise.
Dear Andrew & Barb--my kids and I are still here, faithfully praying alongside you. Words pale--everything pales in the glorious light of Eternity!--but we are praying that both of you will sense His precious presence growing ever stronger. Courage for these hours, and the peace that passes all understanding.
ReplyDelete(LOVE the Pavarotti song. Thank you for sharing.)
Today I'm reminded, as we pray with you though miles away and as unmet friends, of John Bunyan's story, Pilgrim's Progress. It's actually Helen Taylor's tender retelling I love most, and the chapter I love best is The Dark River*. Ohhh the waters at the end of his long journey were deep and frightening, and at times the child thought he would surely drown--until:
Presently little Christian opened his eyes, and as the light from the Celestial City fell upon his face, he cried out suddenly, "Oh, I can see it all now! It shines like the sun, and I heard the voice of the Prince. He said, 'I will be with you in the waters.'"
So he was--and so he is.
Love and prayers from your extended family in Virginia.
* https://books.google.com/books?id=rM6exrhYZhQC&lpg=PT234&ots=IfbBofk-OI&dq=%22little%20pilgrim's%20progress%22%20the%20dark%20river&pg=PT233#v=onepage&q&f=false
Rebekah, thank you so much for this! The excerpt from Taylor's view of Pilgrim's Progress is just enchanting, and so real for me as I live these days.
DeleteSo glad that you liked my musical hero, Luciano...I just hear him in my head so often now.
Many, many thanks for the love and prayers. God is indeed here, holding my hand.
Most of the people who post comments here have been praying for you for a long time and we're all glad you're still here - even though you're not an opera singer.
ReplyDelete;-)
Jan, I am convinced that a huge part of the reason I've lasted this long is the upwelling of prayer...my doctor's rather frustrated as he thought I should have died in 2014. (Frustrated in a happy way, though!)
DeleteDefinitely not an opera singer; when I used to try to sing, the dogs would band together to howl me down!
Most of the time, I have no words after reading your posts. I spend time praying for you and Barb instead. You are so close, and yet here you are! I almost expect the next time I click on your blog and it comes up, I will find that Jesus took you home while we weren't around. We expect it. You expect it. Just know that we who visit here are always keeping you close to God in prayer. You are such a witness to everyone, new readers and those who've been constant visitors for a while. I'm amazed at how long this struggle has gone on for you, yet I know it's only by the Grace and Love of Jesus Christ that you continue with His Work. Jerry and I send our love and prayers to you both. Comfort and peace to you, brother. ♥
ReplyDeleteDiana, I'm so honoured by your words. It has been an awfully long run, far longer than my doctor thought (by four years, now), and I treasure every day, even though each day brings the expectation of going home.
DeletePart of the longevity is that I as really well-conditioned (Olympic-level) when I got sick, and I had a long way to fall, so to speak. But more of it are the prayers holding me up, and the sense of mission - to Barb and the dogs, and to witness that however much it hurts, however bleak the coming days in pain and humiliation, joy is still intentional.
We're so grateful for your and Jerry's love, thoughts, and prayers. They're vitally needed, and never taken for granted.