Is Hollywood one of them?
Yes and no.
On one hand, Hollywood can portray some really fine examples of marriage. Look at Godzilla; there are two strong and positive marriages shown in the first twenty minutes.
But there's another side, and that is that even the way a positive marriage is shown tends to be unrealistic.
Hollywood would have couples looking deeply into one another's eyes after the kids are asleep.
The last time my wife looked into my eyes was when I got a piece of sand in one of them.
Otherwise, it doesn't happen....but if I bought into the Hollywood image I'd feel deprived.
I could list a number of other Hollywood/reality disconnects, but I think you get the picture.
A marriage that's lasted more than a couple of years doen't fit the Hollywood mold. Romance, not to mention sex, have typically moved down the priority list.
Life is mundane, composed of necessities. Good necessities, like kids and friends and church.
Hardly the stuff of cinematic drama. Hardly the place for grand gestures.
Consider one of the archetypal Christian "marriage movies", Fireproof.
Good stuff, but it hinged on the errant husband buying his wife's sick mother a lot of medical equipment, using the money he'd been saving for a bass boat.
Would the story work without that big, bold act?
Sure. Stories like that happen every day, but in their "grace writ small" they're eclipsed by the fictional Big Idea.
And that can make us people, out here in the trenches, feel just a bit inadequate.
Yes, drama is needed to tell a compelling story, and the sharp contrasts between selfishness and Christian giving make for a satisfying tale.
Life is not Hollywood, and the small stuff, the undramatic minute-to-minute healing of hearts...that is what Christian life, and Christian marriage, are all about.
What do you think? Does Hollywood help marriages...or hurt them?
Please stop by my other blog "Starting The Day With Grace", if you have a few minutes.
Excellent point. Marriages are made in the small, steady sacrifices as we daily die to self and live for the other. Maybe it doesn't sound romantic - but love is expressed in going to pick up the teenager who gets off work at midnight, cleaning up the vomit from a sick child so you don't have to, filling up the van with gas, or overlooking little faults and not harping on them. It's not the one grandiose act. Although, don't get me wrong - I love Fireproof! 😊
ReplyDeleteI love Fireproof, too...but your list of the small sacrifices is spot on. Thank you for bringing them!
DeleteAnd they ARE romantic, when the vision is clear.