These days I am on the brink,
stuck upon the downhill track,
and as I write these words I think
that I just had a heart attack.
Pressure like an elephant
taking his ease on my chest;
full-grown bull, not a runt,
administering me this test:
will I quail, and will I cry
out to God to make it pass?
That I do not want to die
and be, to Him, pain in the (donkey)?
Or will it be that I cash in
my final chips, wearing a grin?
I think that I'm kinda spoiled,
facing stuff like heart attack
and cancer that has really roiled
my life, but I don't feel the lack
of golden opportunity;
I had enough in olden days
to know that it is not for me,
and I far prefer the maze
of pain and fright and good ol' dread
because it is a challenge.
Sure, I'm gonna wind up dead,
but being dead I'll manage
to give the Holy Lord a laugh
by giving Him my autograph.
Four minutes of fun.
Music from 30 Seconds To Mars, with Do Or Die
Sylvia forbids my dying. Period, Pit Bull Style.
Praying for you and Barb, Andrew. It sounds like you are having some very intense days.
ReplyDeleteI can feel the joy that you anticipate, although I hope you wait for the rapture.
ReplyDeletePraying for you this morning, Andrew, as it sounds like the battle has become more intense. May the Lord give you and Barb the strength you each need.
ReplyDeleteOh how Jesus longs for you and your autograph. But He has been kind to us to let you stay and write and let us read.
ReplyDeletePrayers for you on the downhill.
Praying for you, Andrew! I so appreciate your sense of humour even in the midst of such difficult challenges. You make me want to laugh and cry both at once!
ReplyDeleteMay you never be a pain in the donkey to God, Andrew!
ReplyDeleteI'm reading A Different Kind of Fast by Christine Valters Painter for Lent and I made it to an Ash Wednesday service this week. Both use those words 'From dust we came and to dust we will return' and talked about the importance of remembering our mortality being a benefit in how we live our lives. Your words reminded me of that too. Christine also mentioned St Francis who referred to Sister Death, so we treat her as a friend rather than an enemy. I kinda like that.
I'm at FMF #19 this week.
Your attitude continues to inspire me. I hope, should I be faced with hard illness, that I could be the same. FMF17
ReplyDeleteWhat is this life but a challenge? Isn't it a reason to live another day? And yet, at the precisely right moment, we will fly away. That was quite a 4 minutes!! Mary Hood! Prayers continue...
ReplyDeleteSounds like a tough time, Andrew. I'm so glad you have your eyes on Him in the midst of so much pain and wondering. Kath
ReplyDeleteI think you give the Lord a laugh already! Somehow in your pain you manage to make us laugh with you too. I take off my hat to you both.
ReplyDelete