Why we're here...

Love and marriage are the greatest adventures in life, and they point they way to our relationship with the Almighty.

We're honored to be a member of the Christian Marriage Bloggers Association...click on their logo to visit them.


Thursday, June 6, 2019

Your Dying Spouse 629 - You Only Keep What You Release {FMF}

There's a cheesy old expression from the 70s (when cheesy was hip!) that goes something like:

If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours.

Kind of romantic and freethinking, right? And let's not forget noble and self-sacrificial!

The problem is, it's totally wrong.

Nothing was every yours. At best, you had it on loan from God.

Ownership is the thing that makes dying hard. I think of Barb, the dogs, the house, and my very life as mine, and it feels like they're being taken from me.

But if I willingly let go, surrendering them all to the God whose they are in the first place, I'm not stepping back from love.

I can love all the more, because my heart is not clogged with a desperate greed.

Una salus victis nullam sperare salutem,
or so the Romans said;
to face death with resolution,
see yourself already dead.
Let go of all you cherish
and the dreams you hold so dear,
gird your soul to perish,
the last casting-off of fear.
Perhaps you’ll meet Achilles,
with Hector by his side,
and there will stand Ulysses
with a horse for you to ride.
And ride you will to Heaven, through the shining gate
where waits your nail-scarred Saviour, author of your fate.

This sonnet was originally written as a comment for Jeanne Takenaka's marvellous blog post Hope: A Violent Hope.

If anyone really wanted a condition report, well, things are worse. It hurts too much, it's impossible to take a good breath, and those bumps I can see in the mirror aren't really looking like a six-pack. I remain, however, cheerful of heart in the grim darkness, and hopeful in the face of hopelessness. I'm either a saint, or an idiot. You choose.

There is a God, He has a plan, and I'm not Him.

Music from the Marshall Tucker Band, with Heard It In A Love Song.

Thanks to Carol Ashby, Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart is back on Kindle, and will be available in paperback soon.

Friends are everything. I couldn't have done it.

Marley, the canine waif from Afghanistan, whom WE helped save, has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.


  1. Truth. Every word. Thank God for the one gift we DO get to claim forever, though – everlasting life through His Son!

    Heaps of prayers for your fears, your pain, and a huge dose of hope!

    1. Diana, thank you so much for this affirmation, for being here, and especially for the prayers and hope! e're praying for you guys.

  2. Andrew, I saw your tweet at FMF that you are tired, my friend. I don't even have words. xo

    1. Susan, thank you...I am tired, beyond words myself.


  3. yes... Such a good reminder! Along with so many other chiche', little "Christian-ese" things that we tell ourselves (and others) to bring comfort- it is merely a disappearing band aid. Grateful (as always) for your beautiful perspective this morning...

    1. Misty, thank you so much for this...and I love the image of the disappearing band-aid1

      Thank you for being here!

  4. Andrew, in your suffering, God has brought you such insight! Thank you for sharing it with us. God bless you.

    1. Julie, thank you so much for these uplifting words, and for just plain being here.

  5. Yes, there is such freedom in surrender. I love how you cling on to hope and continue to inspire us all.

    1. Lesley, indeed, surrender does seem to be the only true freedom. Thank you so much for your kind affirmation, and for being here.

  6. (((((Andrew)))))

    Annie in Texas

    1. ((((((Annie!))))))

      Thank you for being here with me.

  7. You are a saint. And these words encourage and challenge me. It is good to remember that what we are given actually belongs to the Lord. We are just His humble stewards. Thank you for reminding us of that truth tonight.

    Thank you also for the health update. I continue to pray for you. I want your suffering to end, but I sure don't want to say goodbye. I know that when the time comes, and I hear that you have passed away, I will smile through my tears. I will be so happy for you, but sad for all of us.

    Hugs and prayers for you and Barbara.

    1. Rachel, I am so grateful for these kind, loving, an thoughtful words. They mean more to me than I can say, as does your friendship.

      Thank you so much for the prayers; your remain in ours. Hugs back!

  8. It's like you die a thousand deaths every single day, Andrew. So it only makes sense that you understand the need and practicality of surrender--surrendering what was never yours in the first place! Very profound, my friend! And love the sonnet too! You are nothing if not an amazing wordsmith! Prayers being lifted every single day on your behalf!

    1. Beth, it does feel that way sometimes, that thousand deaths...especially today, actually.

      And once you let go, it's not too bad. Holding to tight makes it hurt more, if that makes sense.

      I'm so grateful for your afirming words, and especially for your prayers.

  9. You are so right! It is hard to leave those we will leave behind. Funerals actually are for the living and not the dead. Continually praying for you friend. I am in the 43 spot this week.

    1. Tara, yes...it is hard, but I have the feeling that the separation, for those who have gone, is just an instant, and the reunion is eternal.

      Thank you so much for your prayers; they mean the world to me.