"Get correct views of life, and learn to see the world in its true light. It will enable you to live pleasantly, to do good, and when summoned away, to leave without regret."
Robert E. Lee
And so it goes...getting harder with each day.
Pancreatic cancer and lymphoma have pushed me to the edge of my strength. Oh, I'm still hanging on, make no mistake. Still keeping my spirits up, so that if the miracle of healing does come, I'll be ready (and not saying, "Well, uh...I'm healed...NOW what do I do?").
I hope for that, but it isn't the only positive outcome. I may die in dreadful pain, and go through the scariest things I can never imagine in the long nights of agony before that, and it's what I do now, in spite of the pain and fear, that can make a difference.
So if you'll bear with me, I'll try to follow in some pretty deep footsteps, with my hand raised, like a child, to take the Hand of the One who will help me from each step to the next.
Luke 23:34: Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.
God, I forgive, without reservation, those who have wronged me...and I ask you to forgive me, for the wrongs I've done. So many times, looking back, I know what You wanted me to do...and I didn't do it. I'm so sorry.
Luke 23:43: Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise.
God, with the strength I have left, let me shine your light, to reach those who may not have heard You, or, like me, may not have listened. Here am I; send me.
John 19:26–27: Woman, behold your son. Son, behold your mother
God, I won't be able to be with Barbara and the dogs for as long as I'd wanted to; I accept that, and ask that you bring someone into their lives to protect and love and nurture them.
Matthew 27:46 & Mark 15:34 My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?
God, sometimes I feel so alone, and in the depths of pain, so far from You. Please give me the strength to hold onto faith when it feels like I have nothing left to cling to, and please burn in my heart the knowing the fact that You were all I ever really had.
John 19:28: I thirst.
God, I'm so thirsty, from the pancreatic cancer, and from the calcium rising in my blood from the bone metastases. It's a terrible thirt, a sorrowful, hopeless thirst. Please let me see that You are the only quenching of this awful lack!
John 19:30: It is finished.
God, my race may be almost done, but whatever distance I have yet to run, let me finish strong, for Your sake.
Luke 23:46: Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit.
God, dear Father, you hold me in your hands, and it's there that by heart and soul find rest...to one day rise again in the presence of Your Glory and Love.
So now let's bring in the Moody Blues, with I Know You're Out There Somewhere...because He is.
Please pardon my slow response to comments. I do my best, and your comments are really precious to me. Barb is answering many of them now. I'm running on fumes, if you don't mind a macho metaphor.
I'm grateful for the energy to have written this. I'm so glad Barbara's stepped in for many of my posts. I'm really not doing well at all.
Thanks to Carol Ashby, Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart is back on Kindle, and will be available in paperback soon.
Friends are everything. I couldn't have done it.
Marley, the canine waif from Afghanistan, whom WE helped save, has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.
If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.
Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.
So powerful and full of inspiration and wisdom! Thank you for that, brother! --For sharing the hard lessons you have learned and are walking out... Praying for you and believing with you!ReplyDelete
Karrilee, thank you so much, for the prayers, and for believing with me. That means a lot.Delete
Jerry and I join you in praying about these things. No matter how difficult this may get for you, Andrew, just remember that our Lord is not leaving you alone for one second. Jesus walks this entire path with you... and the rest of us walk with you in our prayers. Barbara, we have you in our prayers also! And those woofers! To God be the Glory and His Will be done!ReplyDelete
Diana, we (woofers included!) thank you both so very much. God is indeed by our side, and we feel the uplift from the prayers of our dear, wonderful friends. To God the Glory!Delete
So very beautiful and full of grace. I am praying for you and your wife so much during these hard, hard days.ReplyDelete
Thank you so much, Bettie; we truly appreciate (and need) the prayers. It's been rough.Delete
Every post, every day is a new inspiration ... despite the pain and agony. You are shining brightly, my friendReplyDelete
Joe, thank you so much...if I shine, the fuel for the lamp's wick comes from the love that surrounds me.Delete
Andrew, you truly amaze me. You really are an inspiration to look for the good in each day, to live the life we have to the best of our abilities knowing our strength comes from God. And to laugh even when things are hard and painful. You're a blessing. And Barb is an angel. Love and hugs to you both.ReplyDelete
Gayl, we're so honoured by your grace-filled, loving words...thank you so much for this. Love and hugs back!Delete
Sorry to hear that things are getting harder, Andrew. Thank you so much for sharing your battles and thoughts with us, that is a privilege and a huge gift! Thank you for being such an inspiration!ReplyDelete
Katha, thank YOU, both for this gracious comment, and for your own writings, which are always an inspiration to me.Delete
I have no words ever to comment. We love you and B. xoReplyDelete
Susan, your love provides all we need. Love back! XODelete
May God provide the bread you need to make it through today. Peace.ReplyDelete
Michelle, He guards my heart, and strengthens my spirit. He is truly enough!Delete
Thank you so much for being here.
Andrew, what a beautiful post. Your words, your insight, hold a quiet determination. Thank you for the reminder to live each moment fully. To remember God holds us through every circumstance. He lives us and watches over us..ReplyDelete
My friend, I am truly sorry for the pain and the letting go you must do. Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and Barb each day and night.
Jeanne, thank you so much for this grace-filled comment, and we most especially thank you for your prayers.Delete
Glad to see you tweet. You're ahead of me this week. In the land of the healthy I haven't had time to blog, but I'm thankful to read yours today.ReplyDelete
Jennifer, thank you so much for being here! I'm always honoured to read your words.Delete
Sending love and prayers to both of you.ReplyDelete
Prayers appreciated, Paula - and needed. Love back!Delete
As you know, I pray for you and for Barbara every day. Thank you for being such an inspiration to us all.ReplyDelete
Jan, we so appreciate your prayers - Barb needs them, especially. This is so hard on her.Delete
This is such a profound and powerful post, Andrew. Praying for you and Barbara!ReplyDelete
Lesley, thank you so much...and we especially appreciate - and need - the prayers.Delete
Andrew So hard to find word in times like this. I pray God gives you and Barbara strength and comfort at this time and I pray each day in some way God will show his love and bring the blessing and healing. Praying.ReplyDelete
Debra, thank you so much for this. God is indeed here, and the prayers of our friends, like you, hold us up so we can see His Face.Delete
You don't know me, Andrew, but I've been reading your comments on the Books & Such blog for a year or so. You're a light of encouragement to so many, especially because of the depths of distress from which you shine. I've prayed many times for you. May we all run our race so diligently. Godspeed.ReplyDelete
Patrice, I am so grateful for this...it's such an honour to be able to encourage those I have never met, and whose prayers keep us afloat.Delete
Profound. Precious. Powerful.ReplyDelete
Praying with you and for you.
Send your Power, Lord.
Surround Andrew with you grace.
In Jesus' name,
Mari-Anna, thi is just so lovely; thank you, from the depths of our hearts.Delete
Blessings to you, my friend. May you see God's provision and rest in His comfort.ReplyDelete
Leigh, thank you so much. God IS here, and He's making me strong, and making me laugh.Delete
And I LOVED your FMF post his week; such shinging love for your pastor!
Wow! What a blessing this journey through scripture is. It is applicable not only for an illness but for times of great difficulty that we all will likely experience. Praying for you Andrew and your family. visiting from FMF!ReplyDelete
Robin, we are so grateful for this...Delete
An anecdote. The painter Henri Matisse once visited his dear friend and mentor, Auguste Renoir.
Renoir was crippled by rheumatoid arthritis, and Matisse, saddened at seeing his friend suffer through the process of painting, cried, "Master, why do you torture yourself?"
Renoir smiled, and said, "The pain passes, Matisse. But the beauty remains."
Powerful post, dear Andrew. Your commitment to Truth shines despite the flickering of your light. Your selflessness reminds me of Paul's. You may be running on fumes, dear friend, but you are running well and will finish well whether His miracle comes or not (May it come--indeed). Bless you for inspiring us in the midst of your suffering and shining.ReplyDelete
Wendy, I am so moved by your words...and so very honoured by the comparison to Paul, my role model!Delete
Thank you so much for this. You made my day.
Andrew...I’ve learned to know you just a little thru your posts on Mundane Faithfulness. My husband had pancreatic cancer so your comments take me back....I’m so sorry for the journey He has called you to. Keep praying for that miracle.....He is able! May God be with you these hard days to comfort , care and faithfully love you, as only He can!ReplyDelete
Praying for you and your dear wife!
In His care....
MK, I can't tell you how much your comment means to me, with your having walked that journey with your husband. My heart goes out to you, for your courage to come here, and to encourage me.Delete
My prayers are answered daily, and they are answered in comments like yours. Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart.
Just saw a comment you left on Mundane Faithfulness,with a link attached.ReplyDelete
I'm looking forward to reading your posts, here.