I'm writing ahead of time - again - because things are steadily getting harder for me, and chances are that I'd never get a timely post put together. But I will try to work the keyword in when it's revealed.
(The word is PURPOSE.)
At least I don't have to worry about getting old.
Aside from the normal deterioration in the pancreas (huge pain spasms, dry heaves, and projectile vomiting...sorry) and the broken lower-leg-bone which isn't healing and an abscessed tooth, I managed to get shot last week. It was an accident, I think. Someone doing some target shooting and not watching downrange. Can't be mad about that.
The large-caliber rounds were at the end of their range and didn't penetrate, but still did some bad stuff. One hit my knee (on the good leg) and swept it, and on the way down another hit me a few inches above the navel. It was like being hit with a brick. That one did some internal damage.
It hurts. Bad. The other night was pretty horrible, and in the morning I told Barb that it felt like God was beating the crap out of me for everything I'd ever done wrong, and for everything anyone else had ever done wrong.
Instead of rebuking me for saying something that might have verged on blasphemy, she just shook her head and said, "Yeah. I see that."
So it's getting almost, maybe, intolerable.
And it's a blessing. It gives my life a terrible, beautiful purpose.
I could go on about the theological aspects of pain, but C.S. Lewis already did that, in The Problem of Pain. I'm no Clive Staples Lewis.
The blessing is that it all digs my well of love a bit deeper.
See, I don't want anyone else to go through this. Certainly not a friend, and not even an enemy. I'd do all I could to shield even that enemy from facing my days.
It's not that I'm a good person, but it's just that enough's enough, and you have to draw a Line of Love somewhere. So I'll draw it here.
I'll love my enemies enough not to want to make them endure agony.
Just seems like the right thing to do.
I'm really not in the mood for serious musical accompaniment, so how about some unabashed feel-good escapism, courtesy The Bangles?
If anyone might be interested, my last post quoted Bishop Nikolai's famous Prayer For Enemies in its entirety.
A bit of news..."Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart" has come home! Tate Publishing has gone south, and I regained the rights, so it'll soon be available in both Kindle hardcopy versions once again. In the meantime, if you absolutely can't wait (!), you can still get used copies from Amazon.
I have another blog, "Starting The Day With Grace". The focus is a grace quote from someone you might not expect (like, say Mick Jagger) and a short commentary. I hope you'll join me.
Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.
If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.
Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.