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Sunday, March 19, 2017

Your Dying Spouse 286 - Songs For My Funeral

This will be short, because the past few days have been awful, and it's still awful. More pain than I could ever have imagined enduring.

Wow, sounds like I'm trying to be noble. I'm not; self-defined nobility is a luxury about which I don't care a bit.

It just hurts, and I'm glad I didn't know this was coming. And I fear tomorrow.

But anyway...I have been given to understand that some folks have definite ideas for their funeral, their 'farewell to this wold' event.

Weird. Or maybe not so much.

I doubt there will be much a service for me, for practical and financial reasons. Too bad, really, because the one after-funeral-reception I organized had an unexpected feature...the dogs got out of the back room where a hippie chick was supposed to be keeping them entertained (she stepped out for a 'smoke').

They thundered through the guest, helped themselves to the food, and launched out into the neighbourhood.

And all these people, dressed in somber mourning clothes, put on some big smiles as they wrestled the happy beasts back to the house.

That's the way it should be.

probably won;'t happen here...Barb does know how to keep the critters contained...but I do have my choice of music. She promised.

So...no sad stuff. Some AC/DC, some Def Leppard, and my favourite of all...Van Halen's Jump.

So, here's David Lee Roth and the crew with some final words for today!

A bit of news..."Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart" has come home! Tate Publishing has gone south, and I regained the rights, so it'll soon be available in both Kindle hardcopy versions once again. In the meantime, if you absolutely can't wait (!), you can still get used copies from Amazon.

I have another blog, "Starting The Day With Grace". The focus is a grace quote from someone you might not expect (like, say Mick Jagger) and a short commentary. I hope you'll join me.

Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.


And marley has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.

If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.


  1. I bet the interruption of the dogs was just what that group needed to bring a tiny bit of joy in the midst of their mourning. :) Glad you've decided on no sad songs. I know people will be sad, but there is such a thing as joy coming right alongside grief. I lost my mother last year. She was 93 and lived a long, fullfilling life. I grieve because I miss her, but I have joy because she no longer suffers.

    May God bless and strengthen and comfort you, dear Andrew! I'm your neighbor at #InspireMeMonday. :)

    1. Gayl, I think you're right - the Canine Celebration Of Life was exactly what was needed. And it was remembered!

      And yes, joy and grief can coexist, and I'm grateful for sharing your thoughts on your Mom's passing (and I am sorry for your loss).

      Thanks so much for the kind thoughts and prayers!

  2. It's funny how humor can be perfectly fitting at a funeral. When our family had a viewing for my mom, and we were trying to get ourselves together before the viewing was open to friends, my aunt said something that just cracked us all up. I don't even remember what it was, and I don't think she was even trying to be funny, but that's one of my favorite memories of that day.

    We've off and on thought about songs for my mother-in-law's funeral - she is 88 and in hospice care - and the one that comes most often to mind is "Jesus Is All the World to Me." She did not have an easy life, and He made such a difference in it.

    1. Barbara, thank you so much for sharing this...and it sounds like you've found a keeper of a song for your mother-in-law, one that will help bear her up, all high notes!

      Thank you so much for being here.

  3. I've got Jump in my head now. I think that's a great choice. Several years ago my sister picked out songs for her funeral, but I'm not sure where they are now.... She really like classic hymns.

    1. Lisa, I'm glad you like it, and there are sure worse songs than 'Jump' to have on one's mind. I love it!

      Barb likes the classic hymns too, but I think she realized early on that for me, nothing but rocking out would do.

      So glad you're here!

  4. I love the dogs-loose-at-the-after-funeral-party scene! Maybe we need to 'let the dogs' out more during life, too, eh?

    1. Anita, you're so right...release the hounds, and prepare for fun!

  5. Andrew,
    "Who Let The Dogs Out" isn't on your playlist? That's got to be added!
    And with your spunky personality, "We're not gonna take it" should be in there as well. :)

    I am so sorry that it's been a rough one. I'm still chuckling at the first post of yours I ever read. You shocked me. Definitely not the prim and proper account of a polished Christian blogger like I was expecting. Ha ha. You don't shock me anymore, but I am in awe of how great God's transformation has been in your heart and in your words these last two years.

    Your love for Barbara has grown as your independence has waned and it has purged your pride significantly! Your transparency has allowed us to see this change.

    God's blessings, my friend!

    1. Tammy, Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take It" is on the playlist. One of my favourites.

      I'm glad you're not shocked anymore (though I still may have a few surprises), but turning to God to get me through these experiences with any kind of spiritual buoyancy has made me quite different. I'll actually be writing about a bit of that, quite soon.

      And yes, my love for and appreciation of Barbara has definitely grown, as I have faded. I would not want to go back to who I was, even with restored health.

      Blessings and love back, dear friend!

  6. Andrew, funerals are tough. My cousin just asked me to speak at her mother's funeral ... so I keep praying she lives a long, long time. :)

    1. I keep trying to comment using my new WordPress website, but I can't figure out how ... Ugh.

    2. Shelli, I can sure understand that prayer! Speaking at funerals is hard. I've done it once. That was enough!

      I sure understand how weird Wordpress can bem too! :)

      Thanks so much for being here today!

  7. Somehow, Andrew, I'm not surprised by your musical selections. ;) And Jump is now going through my head. And I'm picturing you jumping with your dogs. My husband and I have talked about some of our desires for our funeral arrangements (which, especially for our boys' sakes, I hope is a LONG time into the distant future).

    And can I say? Picturing the dogs getting loose at that funeral reception made me smile. There needs to be opportunities for levity in the midst of remembering a person.

    So thankful for you, and for your words, friend. Continuing to pray.

    1. Jeanne, I hope your 'arrangements' are WAY off in the future, too! The world needs your writing.

      Thank you so much for this, and for your prayers. They're really appreciated, and needed.

  8. An air guitar contest to Van Halen's Jump at Andrew's memorial service...yes, that would be a memorable memorial service. Shane has spoken at several funerals and always includes a light-hearted story about the person. Laughter is good medicine.

    Your dog story reminds me of the Brady bunch wedding where the dog trashes the wedding reception.

    So sorry for your pain. P

    1. And those CLOTHES and David Lee Roth's obsession with his hair are almost too much! I forgot how strange the '80's were lolol

    2. Christy, I have to confess that I have a soft-spot for 80s hairstyles...

      I never saw that Brady Bunch episode, but I remember a Disney film called The Ugly Dachshund, in which a Great Dane - thinking he's a wiener dog - lays waste to a pool party.

      Thanks so much for being here, my friend!

  9. I will not be shocked by this...but com'on ... AC/DC? Please no. I had to cover their ALBUM cover with green contact paper when my 14 yr old son brought it home in 1985. And, btw...be checking your mailbox Acid Blondie Belicoso - I think you need a smoke. See you in 2020.

    1. Susan, the inclusion of AC/DC - and only selected music, like Thunderstruck - is a nod to the guys I worked with. AC/DC was immensely popular among SF/contractor types.

      And...thank you so much! I will have B haunting the mailbox (I can't get there any more).

      2020 awaits!