"A thing is not beautiful because it lasts." - ''Vision', played by Paul Bettany in The Avengers: Age Of Ultron
A lot of caregiving isn't beautiful. The fatigue, the worry, the occasional impatience, the mess, the smell, and the knowledge that things will only get worse...no, not beautiful.
But there are, hopefully, other moments, taken like flowers between the hard grey paving stones of circumstance.
The moments you and your spouse can enjoy together, and perhaps moments of humour, though it may sometimes be dark humour.
And it isn't going to last. One day, this duty, and this temporal relationship will end.
It may feel like an eternal donkey's path, turning the mill-wheel, but it's not. There will be a last time for all things, good and bad.
What you do with those moments is up to you, and yes, they do hold the capacity for wistfulmemory, or regret.
It's your choice dear caregiver - and dear patient - every day.
I have another blog, "Starting The Day With Grace". The focus is a grace quote from someone you might not expect (like, say Mick Jagger) and a short commentary. I hope you'll join me.
Marley update...he's probably going to be moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.
WE ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE!
He's up over 200,000 signatures, but PLEASE keep the pressure on. If you haven't signed, please do! Please click o his name in the paragraph below.
If you have a moment, I'd like to ask you to visit Change.org to consider a petition to free a 'death row dog' who has been separated from his family for ten months over a misunderstanding. Marley was saved from Afghanistan by a US serviceman; please help make sure this story doesn't end in needless tragedy! Marley's gotten a lot of support...but he still needs our help.
If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.
Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.
Happy to hear the good news about Marley!!!!! Andrew, your thoughts here are relevant to us ALL, and the Christmas season is a great time to give them extra consideration.
ReplyDeletePraying for peace and (still!) health this holiday season, and that you and Barbara can squeeze all you can out of every moment together...
Pat, thanks so much! I love the news about Marley, too...it was a long fight.
DeleteThank you so much for the prayers, and we wish you and yours the very best!
Hooray for Marley! And may we all hold our loved ones a little bit closer and cherish the memories made in this season a bit more because of the perspective we gain through your writing.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Michele! I'm delighted for Marley as well. It was a hard fight.
DeleteThank you so much for your lovely, kind words. I'm truly honoured.
Best wishes to you and yours for a wonderful Christmas!
Yes, it's really a choice that a caregiver must make every day to see the good in the harshness of their task and life at the moment, Andrew. I know that's what you and Barbara try to do, so you inspire us as well as teach us the right way to go. Merry Christmas to you and Barbara as well as all of those sweet pups that surround you two!
ReplyDeleteBeth, yes...it is a choice. Like faith, I think we have to see the hope and beauty in an intentional way when the whole world seems arrayed against us.
DeleteThank you so much for the Christmas wishes, and the same back to you, for a lovely and warm celebration of Our Saviour's birth!
There is always beauty in between the dark places. We need to keep our eyes open to finding it. Thank you for this reminder. Merry Christmas to you and your wife.
ReplyDeleteMary, yes...exactly. Thank you so much for being here, and we wish you and yours the merriest of Christmases.
DeleteAndrew, you're a blessing to all of us. Thanks for the advice that probably helps lots of people. Christmas blessings to you and Barbara.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Jan...you made my day!
DeleteWe wish you a wonderful Christmas as well!
Happiness is found in making someone else happy, and it takes some ingenuity to come up with ways to facilitate the enjoyment of the moment. Sometimes it's as simple as fixing my mother's hair when I visit her. It's about being 'present' with her.
ReplyDeleteGood post. Thanks, Andrew.
Norma, that's exactly right, and thank you so much for sharing the example of doing your mother's hair.
DeleteWe can truly find happiness only when we follow Christ's example...and His was a life of nothing if not service. He lived, and went to the Cross, for all of us.
Thanks so much for being here!
Happiness, for me today, was coming to your blog and enjoying Aly and AJ singing about the greatest time of the year!! You never fail to make me smile a bit, Andrew! Merry Christmas to you and Barbara!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Paula! I love that song, too. One my Christmas favourites.
DeleteI hope you have a wonderful Christmas!
Thank you for this reminder to find beauty and humor in the midst of the mundane and hard. Many blessings to you and Barabara.
ReplyDeleteRachel, thank you...I truly appreciate your comment, and your being here. Best wishes for a terrific Christmas!
DeleteAn eternal donkey's path... now there's a comparison I haven't ever thought about. And yet, that path does hold a beauty if we watch for it instead of passing it by. Thank you for this post, Andrew – important things to remember on the road of caregiving. Blessings to you, Barbara, and your adorable doggies! Merry Christmas to all of you!
ReplyDeleteiana, yes...if we choose to see the beauty that's there, I think we come a bit closer to God's heart, because He placed it in those unexpected spots for us.
DeleteThank you so much for being here (and the dogs give you a WOOF!). Merry Christmas to you!